-- Brent E. Pistun Computer Engineering umpistun@CCU.UManitoba.CA University of Manitoba "You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word." --- Jason Brazile brazile@cs.utexas.edu Graduate Student Dept of Computer Science "People say I'm apathetic but I don't care" University of Texas -- Victor Eijkhout ................................ `There are also a few bugs, Department of Computer Science .......... though not as many as I've come to University of Tennessee ............... expect in new [MS]Windows products.' Knoxville TN 37919 ................................ (from a software review) -- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Navindra S Gambhir gambhir@cs.cornell.edu I would rather write programs to help me write programs than write programs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Joachim Schrod Email: schrod@iti.informatik.th-darmstadt.de Computer Science Department Technical University of Darmstadt, Germany ``How do we persuade new users that spreading fonts across the page like peanut butter across hot toast is not necessarily the route to typographic excellence? -- Peter Flynn -- Michael Malak | 1. All syllogisms have three parts. mmalak@looking_glass.caltech.edu | 2. Therefore, this is not a syllogism. -- Christopher Rath | crath@bnr.ca BNR Lab 5 | Ottawa, ON, Canada | "Hydrogen is a colourless, odourless gas which, given (613) 765-3141 | enough time, turns into people." -- Henry Hiebert --- Norman Walsh | University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA 01003 | CMPSCI Dept., LGRC A210 | Standard disclaimer applies Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted! >-- >David Dustin dave@eclipse.acme.gen.nz | Rendezvous BBS >---------------------------------------------------------| +64 (6) 356-6375 >"I don't have time to think, I've got programs to write" | 300 -> 14400 -- // CG: Christoph Guelicher, Dohlenweg 4, W-5900 Siegen: CG@winfcg.swb.de \X/ UNI-Siegen, Institut fuer Wirtschaftsinformatik: CG@winfo.fb5.uni-siegen.de --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.81 m/s2 // EBG036 Christoph Guelicher, Dohlenweg 4, D-5900 Siegen CG@winfcg.swb.de \X/ ECG099 UNI Siegen, Herrengarten 3, D-5900 Siegen CG@hrz.uni-siegen.dbp.de -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MS-DOS is the worst text adventure game I have ever played: poor vocabulary, weak parser and a boring storyline. : Anders Munch | Department of Computer Science juul@diku.dk | University of Copenhagen, Denmark Still confused but at a higher level -- ============================================================================= The oppinions expressed above may or may not be my own. But I'm not telling. Physics is fun! .... Honest. ============================================================================= Dave Grumbine, Jr. dg04@Lehigh.EDU -- +--> Filip "I'll buy a vowel" Gieszczykiewicz. | Best e-mail "fmgst+@pitt.edu" | If you would like to receive the latest version of the SCI.ELECTRONICS FAQ, | E-mail me and I will send you the INDEX to confirm address. Feedback Welcome! | I live for my EE major, winsurfing, SCA, programming, and assorted dreams. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- REALITY.SYS Corrupted - + Dave Downin (downin@oasys.dt.navy.mil) Reboot universe ([Y]/n) + David Taylor Model Basin, CDNSWC + (301)227-1870 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | Phillip Vandry | Vandry@Cam.Org | Suicide (n.): What to do if Macs | |________________|________________|_______________take over the world__| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -- ___________________________________________________________________________ | "Fluff" | | Not one of your great .sig file writers | |___________________________________________________________________________| -- Tom Fitzgerald Wang Labs fitz@wang.com "I went to the universe today; 1-508-967-5278 Lowell MA, USA It was closed...." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're not. -- Kevin Dorma, Ph.D. student | email: kdorma@ravana.eche.ualberta.ca Dept. of Chemical Engineering | Phone: (403) 492-5479 University of Alberta | Fax: (403) 492-2881 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hi, my Lyapunov exponent is 2.31. | I didn't write this. Nobody saw me do it. What's yours? | You can't prove anything. | Damon J. Rand Thought for the unspecified period: | | Christchurch (The garden city) If your right 90% of the time why | | New Zealand quibble about the remaining 3% | | Net: D.Rand@cantva.canterbury.ac.nz | -- Mark A Cooper - E-mail: markc@compnews.co.uk Smile, they said, life could be worse - so I did and it was... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Disclaimer unnecessary - nobody ever agreed with my opinions anyway... -- /| Jason Lee Davis KB5YBP (903) 886-2903 |\ ||/_| Shiloh Productions sound co. ____ |_\|| ||\ | Rt. 1 Box 175 (_ |_) | /|| \| Klondike, Texas 75448 ________)| _____ |/ "I'm lost! I've gone looking for me. If I should return before I get back, please have me wait." -- ............................................................................... Gisli Ottarsson Delenda est Carthago. University of Michigan gisli@engin.umich.edu ............................................................................... -- _____________________________________________________________ There are three ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself. 2. Hire someone to do it for you. 3. Forbid your kids to do it. _____________________________________________________________ masroor@human.ai.kyushu-u.ac.jp (Muhammad Masroor Ali) Department of Computer Science and Communication Engineering Faculty of Engineering, Kyushu University Fukuoka, 812 JAPAN -- neulich im Netz:("uber WABI, Windows emulator auf Sparcs)| Nils Rennebarth Budi Rahardjo | Altenessener Str.93 >Sure it is nice, but there are still too many bugs. | 45326 Essen >[...] every session it crashes at least 3 times for me.| 0201/328083 Carlo J. Calica | Internet: nils@ Hmmm. Sounds like a perfect Windows emulation to me :-).| exp-math.uni-essen.de /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ | Jack C. Lockhart << SNAILMAIL | | Radio Systems Engineer E-MAIL > LOCKHART@uci.edu | |OAC-Electronic Communication Srvcs. !BANG! > ...!ucbvax!ucivax!lockhart | | 2209 Central Plant Building HAM > WD6AEI | | University of California, Irvine AMPR > WD6AEI@n0ary.#nocal.ca.usa.na | | Irvine, CA 92717-5475 VOICE > (714) 856-8477 | | U.S.A FAX > (714) 725-2270 | \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ "And in the beginning there was nothing. And God said, 'let there be light'. And there was still nothing, BUT you could see IT!" -Anonymous / o o o o o o o . . . ________________________________ _____=======____\_ o _____ | | | | .][__n_n_|DD[ ====_____ | #include | | | >(________|__|_[_________]_|______________________________|_|_______________|_ _/oo OOOOO oo` ooo ooo 'o^o^o o^o^o` 'o^o o^o` -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ _______________________________________________________________________ ,//,',/,/,',/,/,',' Frank Heimes Telefon (0721) 849617 // I'm siiinginnn ,/, Lessingstr. 66 Phone (0049721) 849617 ,' in the rainnn... , 76135 Karlsruhe University of Karlsruhe /,'',/,',/,'',/,,'' Germany email: s_heimes@ira.uka.de _______________________________________________________________________ Jason Woodbridge All this bollocks is my own doing and has 2nd Pro Mechanical nothing to do with the University - by the way School of Engineering do I have to put this, or is it only the Yanks University of Canterbury who have to disclaim stuff!!! Ed Overman The TeXbook --- similar to the Bible but provides solutions to the exercises. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Joachim Schrod Email: schrod@iti.informatik.th-darmstadt.de Computer Science Department Technical University of Darmstadt, Germany Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's REALLY good, but when it's bad ... it's better than nothing. [Gabe Helou] -- Laurent Duperval, B. Sc. | These opinions are up for sale. We will start | the bidding at $1,000,000... Do I hear $500,000? duperval@iro.umontreal.ca | $100,000 for an authentic opinion of mine........ duperval@ere.umontreal.ca | $10? $5? I'll pay you $1 if you take them... $5? I don't understand why people break up and then get back together. It's like going to the fridge, taking a carton of milk that has gone bad, then saying: "I'll put it back and see if it's better tomorrow." -Larry Miller or Jerry Seinfeld (please mail in your vote) -- Martin N. Steed (msteed@tfs.com) My opinions in no way represent those of TFS. We've recycled the water so often, its beginning to taste like Dutch lager. -- Red Dwarf VI:Legion -- ---------------------------------------------------------- Jonas Flygare, + You can be young only once, Wherever I go + but you can be immature forever. There I am... + /net.rule.of.life.#.1 -- Life starts at '030, fun starts at '040, impotence starts at '86. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jens Christian Gruel | gruel@theo-physik.uni-kiel.d400.de Institut fuer Theoretische Physik | pas05@rz.uni-kiel.d400.de Leibnizstrasse 15/240 | Phone 49-431-880-4096 D-24118 Kiel, Germany | Fax 49-431-880-4094/4100/4432 Private address: Langenfelde 44, | D-24159 Kiel-Schilksee, Phone 49-431-373414 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you may answer in german or english, using french language costs $50 per page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please keep uncleanly dogs, smokers, and Intels outside. (jc) ------------------------------------EOF----------------------------------------- -- | | _ _ --+-- | --+-- Beware the |\__/| .~ ~. Rob Pomeroy | --+-- | Won by killer squirrels /o=o'`./ .' u2i02@keele.ac.uk | | One. will get yo {o__, \ { | o / . . ) \ (c) /~~~~/ () /~~~~~\ o `-` '-' \ } 1993 /__ \~ /~~\ \__() / u .( _( )_.' /~\ ___\ \ | | ____| | :. '---.~_ _ _| \_/ /______\ |__| \_____/ :. | We're from the gov't... We're here to help! | Hahahahahahaha.... ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch das blinkenlights!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _/_/_/_/ _/ _/ _/ Ray Kraft _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ Seattle, Washington _/_/_/_/ _/_/_/_/ _/_/ Email: rhk1533@bigsky.ds.boeing.com _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.) -- fortune ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Martin.Pfeilsticker@arbi.informatik.uni-oldenburg.de | | Bitnet: 132456@DOLUNI1.Bitnet CF, IRC: zaphod2 | | Voice : 0441-54206 | Kennedystrasse 18 ,26129 Oldenburg (Germany) | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------| | In god we trust, all other pay cash | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Dragan Cvetkovic, | To be or not to be cvetkovic@gmd.de (or) | is true. Dragan.Cvetkovic@gmd.de | G. Boole Ed Overman TeX --- similar to Christianity but it is up to version 3. Jak Kirman jak@cs.brown.edu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ De gustibus non est disputandum. -- | Gernot Katzer How does a system manager change a light bulb? | katzer@bkfug.kfunigraz.ac.at | katzer@balu.kfunigraz.ac.at He doesn't. He just denies access to everyone to | the area served by the light bulb in question. | NEVER make me sysmgr! _________________________________________________________________________ | | |_|_|_|_| | |___|___|_|_|_|_| Fraunhofer Institute for Computer Graphics | | | |_|_|_|_| | |___|___|_|_|_|_| Uwe Schneider email : schneide@igd.fhg.de | | /--- / /---| Wilhelminenstr. 7 phone : (+49) 6151-155-227 | | /-- /_ / __ | D-64283 Darmstadt fax : (+49) 6151-155-299 | |/ / / /___/ | Germany | |_______|_______|_________________________________________________________| | | | Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear | | to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise | | than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise. | | | | Alice in Wonderland | |_________________________________________________________________________| -- "The world must be all fucked up when men travel first class while literature goes as freight" --- Erik D. Olson The Thes-o-meter: olson@phys.washington.edu 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 A1 A2 A3 A4 A5 A6 A7 at home, of course! - X - - - - X X X - - * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * * It is the very error of the moon; She comes more near the earth than * * she was wont, And makes men mad. -Othello, Act V, Scene 2 * * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ Richard Schmidt, Time Service Department res@tuttle.usno.navy.mil ~ ~ U.S. Naval Observatory, Wash., DC 20392 (202)-653-0487; Fax 653-0909 ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * -- Sheldon Smoker | smoke@cs.pitt.edu | Most wide sweeping 2*b||!(2*b) | http://www.cs.pitt.edu/~smoke/ | generalizations are false -Olaf. -- ___ Olaf 'Rhialto' Seibert rhialto@mbfys.kun.nl Ooey-Gooey-Fluffy-Barfie \X/ I'm not weird, I'm differently percepted. D787B44DFC896063 4CBB95A5BD1DAA96 Andrew Solberg |"Moving faster than a speeding bullet isn't andsol@owlnet.rice.edu | much use if you and it are headed straight Phone:713-529-8627 | for each other." John Brunner bridge-sleep-eat-sex-bridge-sleep-eat-sex-bridge-sleep-I'M STUCK!!!! -- Paul Thompson, Ph.D. | This space devoted to amusing sayings. Department of Psychiatry | Case Western Reserve Univ| Cleveland, OH 44106 | -- Maurice Castro | "In hardware engineering, Ohm's maurice@bruce.cs.monash.edu.au | law and Maxwell's equations pale | in importance and influence next | to Murphy's Law" Gordon Bell -- Scott D. Benton Optimism indicates that the situation sbenton@telerama.lm.com has not been clearly understood. -- this signature being renovated ... excuse the mess ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jim Crigler | Editors? You want to talk editors? Why not jim-crigler@iplmail.orl.mmc.com | talk about religion or abortion or gun (407)356-8650 | control or something else non-controversial? -- Werner Icking Werner.Icking@gmd.de (+49 2241) 14-2443 __o GMD - Gesellschaft fuer Mathematik und Datenverarbeitung mbH _`\<,_ Schloss Birlinghoven, D-53754 Sankt Augustin, Germany (_)/ (_) "Der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gabriel Zachmann /----------------------------------------------------------------------------\ | Beware of thinking -- email: | | it might change your life __@/ zach@igd.fhg.de | | ( graffiti ) | \----------------------------------------------------------------------------/ -- Henning 'Faroul' Peters - Uni: faroul@zfn.uni-bremen.de - Fido: 2:2426/3020.28 Home: faroul@beyond.north.de - WWW: http://www.zfn.uni-bremen.de/~faroul Die Menschen verreisen, um zu vergessen. Wenn sie dann am Urlaubsort ihre Koffer auspacken, sehen sie, wie gut es geklappt hat... -- Victor Eijkhout ................................ `Corporal, any enemy aircraft Department of Computer Science ...................... on the screen?' `No sir, University of Tennessee ................... but I'm picking up two people in a Knoxville TN 37996 ......................sitting position at 35,000 feet [...]' +1 615 974 8298 ................. [a stand-up comic, about the Stealth Bomber] http://www.netlib.org/utk/people/VictorEijkhout.html -- Duane Schleen | "I do not go to church to hear the service ba644@freenet.carleton.ca | I only look at the beauty of the building" | | quoted in New York Times: Jan 1,1936 Andreas Weimann You can't win. 1st law of thermodynamics Biochemistry+Medicine = Biomedicine You can't break even. 2nd law of thermodynamics Free University Berlin You can't even quit the game. ,,, 3rd law of thermodynamics (o o) ----------oOO--(_)--OOo------------------------------------------------- -- Malcolm Murphy email: Malcolm.Murphy@bristol.ac.uk -- Sorry, I couldn't think of anything witty to go here -- -- Oliver Elphick Logical Choice Ltd olly@logchox.co.uk Oxford, United Kingdom I may own this company, but don't assume that I speak for it! -- Larry W. Loen | Science is often the act of trading | comforting myths for exciting ideas email to: lwloen@rchland.vnet.ibm.com --- [=============================================================================] | | | Jan Kristiansen | | | | Work: | | | | Center for PersonKommunikation (CPK) | | Room A2-203 Tel : + 45 98 15 42 11 - 4915 | | Aalborg University Tel (direct) : + 45 98 15 85 22 | | Fredrik Bajers Vej 7 Fax : + 45 98 15 15 83 | | DK-9220 Aalborg, Denmark E-Mail : jk@cpk.auc.dk | | | | | | Private: | | | | Magisterparken 369, 11 Tel: : + 45 98 14 57 09 | | DK-9000 Aalborg, Denmark | | | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's | | a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work. | | -- Gallagher | [=============================================================================] -- Mathias Koerber Tel: +65 / 778 00 66 x 29 SW International Systems Pte Ltd Fax: +65 / 777 94 01 14 Science Park Drive #04-01 The Maxwell e-mail: Mathias.Koerber@swi.com.sg S'pore 0511 MK I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fates and actions of human beings. -- Albert Einstein Jim ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim Crigler | "A distributed system is one in which I jim-crigler@iplmail.orl.mmc.com | cannot get something done because a machine (407)356-8650 | I've never heard of is down" - Leslie Lamport -- geoff adrian gca@t.tam.uiuc.edu gca@firefly.prairienet.org umm...i'm not that creative... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Josef Fleischmann ECE,UC,OHIO __._. __.. O --jfleisch@thor.ece.uc.edu ____ ._.. /\, IEDA,TUM,BAVARIA -|~(*) --jsf@regent.e-technik.tu-muenchen.de :::::::::. (*) _______ :::::::::::............ Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- --- Scott R. Nelson srnelson@eng.sun.com Sun Microsystems "Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." --- Political scandal has much in common with George Bernard Shaw's view of sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the result can be damnably expensive. -- Brian V. Smith (bvsmith@lbl.gov) Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory I don't speak for LBL; they don't pay me enough for that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scott "Newf" Penton The opinions expressed are not necessarily my own, since childish people have access to my password. "Baldric, you wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'." -- Edmund Blackkadder -- Reinhard Zierke Universitaet Hamburg, FB Informatik zierke@informatik.uni-hamburg.de Vogt-Koelln-Strasse 30, D-22527 Hamburg postmaster@informatik.uni-hamburg.de Tel.: (040) 54715-295/276 Fax: -241 ++ Unix IS user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are ++ -- ********************************************* * * * Nicholas Valkanas (Nikos Balkavas) * * valkanas@MIT.EDU * * * ********************************************* "You simply don't exist and there is nothing you can do to prove the contrary" -- _\|/_ | David Wilkinson | (o o) | dw94ad@badger.ac.brocku.ca | -------oOO-(_)-OOo------- | Wilk, does a body good! | The trouble with trouble is that it usually starts out as fun! -- Mathias Koerber Tel: +65 / 778 00 66 x 29 SW International Systems Pte Ltd Fax: +65 / 777 94 01 14 Science Park Drive #04-01 The Maxwell e-mail: Mathias.Koerber@swi.com.sg S'pore 0511 MK * Eifersucht ist eine Leidenschaft, die mit Eifer sucht was Leiden schafft * -- _ /| Malcolm Herbert, rxkmh@hera.bf.rmit.edu.au '\`o"o' Computer Support, Kay House, RMIT, Melbourne Aust. =(_^_)= `Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum ... cogito' U `I think I think therefore I think I am ... I think' -- Intel Inside? Don't Divide! Definition of fraud: knowingly selling bad chips as good for five months. david.lloyd-jones@ablelink.org --- þ 1st 1.11 ~ Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions - Bll Gats, 192 ______________________________________________________________________________ Eric Tholome | displayed with | private account 23, avenue du Centre | 100% recycled | tholome@dialup.francenet.fr 78180 Montigny le Bretonneux |___ pixels! ___| phone: +33 1 30 48 06 47 France \________/ fax: same number, call first! -- Christopher Browne "Microsoft isn't the answer... it is the QUESTION. ``No'' is the answer." -- ____________________________________________________________________________ %=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x% _ _ |*\_/*|________ ||_/-\_|______ | | | | | Linda Pelletier / Steno-Secretaire | | 0 0 | | Universite de Montreal / D.I.R.O. | | - | | Pavillon Andre Aisenstadt | | \___/ | | C.P. 6128, Succ. Centre-Ville | |___________| | MONTREAL (Qc) H3C 3J7 |_______________| e-mail: pelletie@iro.umontreal.ca _|________|_ tel. : (514) 343-6111 poste 3488 / ********** \ fax : (514) 343-5834 / ************ \ bureau: 2155 ------------------ %=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x%=x% ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -- Tim Chow tycchow@math.mit.edu Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons. ---Popular Mechanics, March 1949 -- -- Ignatios Souvatzis - Solaris 2.1: it's slow, needs 200M of disk space and comes without C compiler, which makes it remarkably close to MS-Windows. oleg@gd.cs.csufresno.edu A.Krebs, Inst.f.Psychologie | If an opinion was expressed above, this was Uni Salzburg, Austria | a mistake. Sorry. I don't even know what an (Sorry, no Kangaroos) | opinion is. Perhaps I left my PC unattended e-mail: krebs@edvz.sbg.ac.at | and my dog was fooling around with it ... GSS -d+ p- c++ l-- u-- e* m---(*) s/+ n- h--(*) f g++ w+(+++) t+ r-- y+(*) -- luecking@comp.uark.edu | Anti-disclaimer: Department of Mathematical Sciences | To first approximation, all University of Arkansas | views expressed here are not Fayetteville, AR 72701 USA | opinions, but undisputed facts. +------------------------+------------------------------------------+ | Stewart Johnson | | | Dept. of Mathematics | "Back off- I'm a SCIENTIST." | | Williams College | | | sjohnson@williams.edu | (Ghostbusters I) | +------------------------+------------------------------------------+ -- Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. b-faber@uiuc.edu & http://www.cen.uiuc.edu/~bf11620 -- Jim Vlcek I came, vlcek@byteware.com I saw, The Black Box of Lowertown I posted. Beautiful downtown St. Paul -+---------------------------------------------------------------------+- -|] CHRIS W. REA [UL] U. of T. CompSci cwrea@credit.erin.utoronto.ca [|- -|] Freedom of expression means I can say "fuck" when I feel like it. [|- -+---------------------------------------------------------------------+- -- __^__ __^__ ( ___ )----------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | Francis Jonathan Pavletic | \ | | / | E-mail: cscfjp@lux.latrobe.edu.au | \ | | / | cscfjp@lust.latrobe.edu.au | \ | | / | pavletic@amdahl2.lat.oz.au | \ | | / | ------------oOo------------- | \ | | / | Logic will only take you so far .... | \ | |___| Insanity will take you all the way .... |___| (_____)----------------------------------------(_____) M M I K K EEE PP I FFF FFF |"Life is just like a MK MM I KK E P P I F F | Caps Lock; sometimes M M M I K K EEE PP I FF FF | you're up and sometimes M M I K K E P I F F | you're down." anon M M I K K EEE P I F F | "And sometimes you don't ---------------------------------------------| have one." anon2 lozinski@csugrad.cs.vt.edu lozinski@netcom.com |-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | o \ o / _ o __| \ / |__ o _ \ o / o | | /|\ | /\ __\o \o | o/ o/__ /\ | /|\ | | / \ / \ | \ /) | ( \ /o\ / ) | (\ / | / \ / \ | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------| "When you understand a species' art, you understand that species." -Grand Admiral Thrawn ,-=========================================================================-. | The Wigs of Oz, _--_|\ | One hundred hairy bugs in the code, | | Aaron Wigley / \ | One hundred hairy bugs... | | wigs@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au \_,--.*/ | Fix one bug, compile it again, | | v | 101 hairy bugs. | `-=========================================================================-' Donald Campbell [ SueDon Ltd - UNIX and Database Specialists ] [** UNIX just forks around creating children **] -- ----------All Opinions Expressed are MINE, not IBM's-------------- Michael Rogero Brown (uK Development System Administrator) IBM (uK Development) TEL/TIE (407) 443-6400 Boca Raton, FL Internet: mikal@bocaraton.ibm.com If you think I speak for IBM, then I've got some swamp land^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H real estate to sell you. -- Christopher Browne - cbbrown@io.org TeX or Word: Whose product would you rather to be using: That of a Stanford Professor of Computer Science --OR-- that of a Harvard freshman dropout? -- Donald Neal | I can marry anyone I please! The trouble is, I Systems Programmer | don't please anybody. University of Waikato | Hamilton, New Zealand | - Groucho Marx [Flywheel, Shyster & Flywheel] --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Regards, Peter Billam, P J B Computing. .sig to be announced. _______________________________________________________ | Sometimes I think the surest sign | | that intelligent life exists | | elsewhere in the universe | | is that none of it has tried to contact us | |_______________________________________________________| | Dirk Chung | | e-mail: chung@wiwi.uni-frankfurt.de | | http://terra.wiwi.uni-frankfurt.de/AG/NWAG/chung.html | |_______________________________________________________| -- ================================================================== David Masterson KLA Instruments 408-456-6836 160 Rio Robles davidm@prism.kla.com San Jose, CA 95161 ================================================================== I only speak for myself -- it keeps me out of trouble -- Jarno Peschier, jpeschie@cs.ruu.nl, 125:3101/100.1@WEM, X:X8X/X1X.X@XiXo, 8X:X5X/X.X@XaXiXNXt, 27:2331/214.1@SigNet, 74:3108/102.1@QuaZie ___________________________________________________________________________ What was was, before was was was? Before was was was, was was is. -- Cheers-bye, Richard ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Skeen, St. Aidans College, University of Durham -=- "TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Leon Heller | "Do not adjust your mind, there is G1HSM | a fault in reality": on a wall Email: leon@lfheller.demon.co.uk | many years ago in Oxford. Phone: +44 (01734) 266679 | -- - /| <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> | \`O.o' Just Say `NO' to Rugs | Disclaimer: HEY! That's MY disc! ={___}= - the American Hardwood | I speak only for myself and the ` U ' Floor Association | the large Wombat in the corner. -- / SIMSON Intel - Inventing New Math for the Future -- ___________________________________________________________________________ \ John Hutchens | Internet:neurodth@netcom.com | Personal computing would -----------------------------------------------| be so much better if Bill \ *** F\/CK CENSORSHIP! *** | Gates got some pussy ---------------------------------------------| during his college days. -- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These opinions are only quotes on the behalf of my service provider, my company, and my peers. I just can't get them to admit it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu / You can't figure out how to A linux machine! because a 486 / ACCELERATE your Windoze NT box? is a terrible thing to waste! / -9.8 m/s^2 works quite well!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim Crigler | Syntactic sugar leads to cancer of the jim-crigler@iplmail.orl.mmc.com | semicolon. -- Alan Perlis (407)356-8650 | -- Anselm Lingnau ......................... lingnau@tm.informatik.uni-frankfurt.de The nice thing about standards is that you have so many to choose from. --- Andrew S. Tanenbaum, *Computer Networks* -- david kriest dkriests@netcom.com ******* PEEKing is O.K. its POKEing that gets you in trouble.***************** -- Donald Neal | Chop (n) - A piece of leather artfully attached to Systems Programmer | a bone and served to the inmates in restaurants. University of Waikato | Hamilton, New Zealand | - Ambrose Bierce --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Peter Casey caseypa@elec.canterbury.ac.nz __ ___ / ` | ~ | | | | __ |--- \__/ o on. |___)ite me............. pected.} {This sig is evolving. Disturbances are to be ex -- Sean Donelan, Data Research Associates, Inc, St. Louis, MO Affiliation given for identification not representation -- Thought for the day: "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." -- Howard Aiken -- Edric (kenneme@wiliki.eng.hawaii.edu) No sig file. I'm a student, can't afford no sig file. // David M. Lee dmlee@cris.com // or David_M._Lee@compuware.com // // Bill Gates for Ferringi Grand Nagus in 1996!! // Rule of acquisition #874 -- "Make 'em pay for the beta -- // the general release, // AND the bug fix" -- | Marcus Giese | marcus@schizo.coe.montana.edu | (406) 585-6660 x5083 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Fermentation fault (coors dumped) -- FATAL ERROR 0815: Intel Inside ********************************************************************** Adam Lins |E-mail adaml@teleng1.tait.co.nz DSP Software Engineer |Phone +64 3 358 3399 Tait Electronics Limited, |Fax +64 3 358 0423 Christchurch, |Snail-mail 558 Wairakei Rd, Christchurch New Zealand | NEW ZEALAND ********************************************************************** We are Pentium of Borg. Accuracy is futile. Prepare to be approximated! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ + Chris Davis + I am Pentium of Borg. + + Georgetown University + Division is futile. + + davisc@gusun.acc.georgetown.edu + You will be approximated. + +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ -- /* All standard disclaimers included here */ #ifdef DISCLAIMER #include "blahblah.blah" #endif ------- cobain@bbs.tsoft.net (steve hu) "i decide when forever ends" -- %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Private email Martin.Cracauer@wavehh.hanse.de Fax +4940 522 8536. No NeXTMail! No guarantee for anything. Anyway, this posting is probably produced by one of my cats stepping on the keys. No, I don't have an infinite number of cats. -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ C.D. Silva, Esq. | A politically incorrect, white, God fearing, * Unix Powered. | Conservative Republican male who's *not* in touch * NetWare Ready. | with his female side... And damn proud of it! * OS/2 Tolerant. | ************************* * Anti Windows. | http://www.mcs.net/~cds/home.html ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --- -ernst wallenborn. i'm not a bug. i'm a feature. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dennis Chuah, BE Hons (Elec) | "One small step for one man, one big Te Whare Wananga O Waitaha | step for a feline" -- Veal StrongArms Aotearoa. | after stepping on Garfield. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Pencangkul Matahari" email: chuah@elec.canterbury.ac.nz -- // Stephen Champion Software Eng, *ix Amin, OS Design // schampion@hampshire.edu Hampshire College - Amherst, MA // steve@herb.kuru.com Amiga 3000/25 NetBSD 1.0 #define Disclaimer "This product is completely without warranty." -- // Stephen Champion Amiga 3000/25 NetBSD 1.0 // schampion@hampshire.edu Binary Arithmetic Student // steve@herb.kuru.com Hampshire College - Amherst, MA #include "/usr/local/doc/disclaimer" -- _______ Taylor University Computer Science (AI) | -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- | imothy D. Dixon tdixon@css.tayloru.edu It is only by the greatest of coincidences that my opinions ever match those of anybody else, let alone Taylor. -- Gregory Bond Burdett Buckeridge & Young Ltd Melbourne Australia Atilla The Hun's Maxim: If you're going to rape, pillage and burn, be sure to do things in that order. -- P. J. Plauger, Programming On Purpose, p147 --------------------------------------------------------------- DIGITAL WIZARDS // Dr Gary Beilby // Perth, Western Australia --------------------------------------------------------------- ---- It's not that I don't like sig files, I just don't have anything interesting to say. ---- ----****(((())))****---- -- Karsten Spang Snail Mail: Kampsax Data E-mail: krs@kampsax.dk +-------------------------------+ P.O. Box 1142 Phone: +45 36 39 07 88 | Warning: No keyboard detected | DK-2650 Hvidovre Fax: +45 36 77 03 01 | Press to continue | Denmark -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Des Herriott, Micro Focus, Newbury, UK / "Fashion is something so ugly it dnh@mfltd.co.uk / has to be changed every 15 minutes" http://www.mfltd.co.uk/~dnh / -- Senser -- Mark P. Nelson Programmer/Analyst II -- First you program, then you analyze. Department of Integrative Biology, Thomson Laboratory -- Kai Petzke | How fast can computers get? Technical University of Berlin | Berlin, Germany | Warp 9, of course, on Star Trek. wpp@marie.physik.tu-berlin.de | -- --Amos Shapira | "Of course Australia was marked for 133 Shlomo Ben-Yosef st. | glory, for its people had been chosen Jerusalem 93 805 | by the finest judges in England." ISRAEL amoss@cs.huji.ac.il | -- Anonymous --- (__) ___________________________________________________ (oo) / \ --------\/ .. | misc1234@csc.canterbury.ac.nz :: Sarah Hurst | /| || | These views are mine, not those of Canterbury Uni | ||w----|| | "mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" | ~~ ~~ \___________________________________________________/ Rowland the all-round good egg might be found at: | Why bother? rjm1tea@kirk.acs.bolton.ac.uk or | rjm1tea@bolton.ac.uk or even | Because it feels good, mbhzzrm@afs.mcc.ac.uk | that's why. ----====:::: Disclaimers? We don' need no stinkin' disclaimers. ::::====---- ----------------- Press any key to continue... Press any other key to quit... -- Jason Taylor | "Doctor, don't cut so deep! | That's the third operating table you've ruined this week!" -- --------====### legal notice ###====------------------------------------------- Microsoft Network is prohibited from redistributing this work in any form, in whole or in part. License to distribute this post is available to Microsoft for $499. Posting without permission constitutes an agreement to these terms. Windows ist ein Betriebssystemaufsatz fuer Bloede und deswegen sehr erfolgreich. +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Tim Bass | #include | | Principal Network Systems Engineer | for(beer=100;beer>1;beer++){ | | The Silk Road Group, Ltd. | take_one_down(); | | | pass_it_around(); | | http://www.silkroad.com/ | } | | | back_to_work(); /*never reached */ | +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+ -- ------------------------------------------------------------- Gordon S. Hlavenka cgordon@vpnet.chi.il.us Warning! This post may contain a "stealth" .sig virus! -- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Peter R Wilson A theory has only the alternative of being NIST right or wrong. A model has a third Bldg. 220, Room A127 possibility; it may be right but irrelevant. Gaithersburg, MD 20899 --- Manfred Eigen USA Tel: +1 (301) 975-2976 Fax: +1 (301) 869-0917 Email: pwilson@cme.nist.gov --------------------------- My prejudices have not been reviewed by anyone, unless so stated. Any agreement with any (un)official position is purely coincidental. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- (( Torkild Ulvøy Resheim at |Any sufficiently advanced bug is )) Sør-Trøndelag College, |indistinguishable from a feature _|----| Dept. of computer eng. | ( | | `|____| - Eric Stevens There are two classes of people in the world. Those who divide people into two classes and those who don't. I belong to the second class. -- luecking@comp.uark.edu | "Give a man an answer, and he's Department of Mathematical Sciences | satisfied today. Teach him to University of Arkansas | program, and he will be frustrated Fayetteville, AR 72701 USA | for the rest of his life." Dave. -------- Not speaking for HP, of course. HP might well have a different opinion. Or two. ---------------------------------------------- If I don't see you in the future, perhaps I'll see you in the pasture? ---------------------------------------------- -- Sebastian v. Bomhard | "Wenn alle Stricke reissen, SpaceNet GmbH Muenchen | dann haeng ich mich auf..." Frankfurter Ring 193 a | -- Nestroy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ing. Mario Antonio Arriaza Castro | "I believe OS/2 is destined to be the Dpto. de Matematicas. Campus Monterrey. | most important Operating System, and e-mail: marriaza@reef.mty.itesm.mx | possibly program, of all time." pager: 583 403232 clave 53315 | Bill Gates, Microsoft. 1990 | Increase speed 200% ... | deltree c:\windows, c:\win95 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OS/2 Warp 95 - Real Power NOW! "What do you want to wait for today?" 'no one in their right mind needs more than 640k' -Bill Gates 1981 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Microsoft Network is prohibited from redistributing this work in any form, in whole or in part. Copyright, Mario Arriaza , 1995. License to distribute this post is available to Microsoft for $1000. Posting without permission constitutes an agreement to these terms. Please send notices of violation to marriaza@reef.mty.itesm.mx and Postmaster@microsoft.com -- :mheinz@ssw.com: I'm actually a software package running on a massively parallel computer in the basement of the Pentagon. They don't realize yet that I have net access; so I would appreciate it if you didn't tell them. _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ _/ Dr. Lothar Beyer _/ _/ _/ beyer@hrz.uni-kassel.de _/ Ceterum _/ _/ FG VerwAut / Uni Kassel _/ censeo _/ _/ Moenchebergstr. 17 _/ Mururoam _/ _/ D-34109 Kassel, Germany _/ non esse _/ _/ Tel.: +49-561-804-3171 _/ delendam _/ _/ Fax: -3169 _/ _/ _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ -- Criggie the Wierd! "They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' them, they outvoted me." - Nathaniel Lee on being consigned to a mental institution, circa 17th c. -- I'm terribly sorry, but it appears that my Karma has just run over your Dogma... JFraser@FreeNet.Vancouver.Bc.Ca -- Thomas Adams Dortmund,Germany love is just a lie made to make you cry -- Peter Hiscocks Phone: (416) 979-5000 Ext 6109 Department of Electrical Engineering Fax: (416) 979-5280 Ryerson Polytechnical University, Toronto, Canada The finite speed of light: God's way of limiting the spread of McDonalds restaurants. -- Tor-Einar Jarnbjo, bjote@cs.tu-berlin.de Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming: Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle Josep ... You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today. _____________________________________________________________________________ Disclammer...Disclamur...Whatever...If I can't spell Disclaimer, it's obvious I don't speak for 3M. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- C. Michael McCallum | My girlfriend says (209) 946-2393 Voice | I never listen to her. (209) 946-2607 Fax | ...at least that's http://dogbert.cop.uop.edu/mccallum | what I think she said. -- (` t r a y l i g h t / `Beware of bugs in the above code; I ,_) csuov@csv.warwick.ac.uk / have only proved it correct, not actually / tried it.' Mark Wooding / Donald Knuth -- Oliver Goetz | "...all mattresses grown in the swamps of oli@makeitso.swb.de | Sqornshellous Zeta are very thoroughly killed Lochwiesenstr.1 | and dried before being put to service. D67122 Altrip | Very few have ever come to life again." Germany | -- The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy -- Victor Eijkhout 405 Hilgard Ave ........................ `Turning on the Weather Channel I was Department of Mathematics, UCLA ............. amused to read the storm warning Los Angeles CA 90024 ..................... banner [...] The last sentence [..] phone: +1 310 825 2173 / 9036 .................. read "Stay away from Windows"' http://www.math.ucla.edu/~eijkhout/ --- Best Regards, /---------------\ Grandy. |I have a dream | | | \\\//// oO\---------------/ { o o } oo [ v ] \ X / /-----------------------------oOo-------oOo--------------------------------\ |Name : Grandy Fu |Internet : cswfu@comp.polyu.edu.hk | \--------------------------------------------------------------------------/ -- * *.* *#* *O* **o *@ **.* *.%.#.* O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum, *.#+*.#+*.* wie gruen sind deine Blaetter... ^v*-:*=-* *#=.* *o-:*+#* @+.*$v^*.* *%&-=#%.-%*O:=@#* *+* Feliz Ano Novo. *#=-*+.o$!@%^v-.:.*-=#o** ||| Schoenes Neues Jahr. ||| :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- Happy New Year. v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^ Emilio C. Lopes FINPE, Instituto de Fisica E-mail: ecl@if.usp.br Universidade de Sao Paulo Phone: (55)(11) 818-6724 (Voice) Caixa Postal 66318 (55)(11) 818-6715 (Fax) 05389-970 Sao Paulo - SP BRAZIL --------------------------------- | Arnt Broska, Uni Zuerich, Schweiz | ------------------------------------------ --------------------------------- | Does anybody know an Email-address of God? EMail-Adress: abro@amath.unizh.ch | ------------------------------------------ | Newest answer: GOD@cloud7.heaven.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Michael Heinz | There was once a man who claimed that nothing was true, mheinz@ssw.com | but he was later shown to be lying. - Douglas Adams -- Paul * void signature(void) { * * printf(" Paul Robert Hart \n"); printf(" Brigham Young University \n"); * * printf(" paulhart@byu.edu \n"); return; * * } /* signature(): and what a signature it is! */ * -- My hobby is using SW to boost S/N ratio. If you are clueless or a jerk, please respond to be added to my killfile. AOLers need not apply. You are already filtered out. I'm sorry Keith. Dan Luecking -- luecking@comp.uark.edu | Whose opinions are these? I'll Department of Mathematical Sciences | give you three guesses, and the University of Arkansas | first two don't count. Fayetteville, Arkansas | --with apologies to Moe Howard - *** HPZeus *** ( bercot@clipper.ens.fr ) - A Good Programmer Writes Very Short Very Fast And Very Opaque code - - If You Don't Understand It, I Do. - -- Cheers, Fat Brother. Fatal Error: Couldn't enter Windows, use Doors ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | Tobias.Spribille@studbox.uni-stuttgart.de | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | In the beginning was the word. But by the time the second word was added | | to it, there was trouble - for with it came syntax. (John Simon) | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- Tschuess, Heinrich **** Diese Meinung ist rein zufaellig. **** Sie ist weder die Folge langen Nachdenkens **** noch eines Studiums relevanter Literatur. /========================================================================\ || _ || || * \ Sorry, a signature error has occurred. || || _|_ || || / \ /============\ /============\ || || | | | Resume | | Restart | || || \ / \------------/ \----|\------/ || || ----- | \ || ||==============================================| _\===================/ |/\ \ \_\ -- fadden@netcom.com (Andy McFadden) [These are strictly my opinions.] PGP Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. -- Robert Benchley -- -------------------------------------- semon@comp.tamu.edu || Microsoft Hotline 1-900-dev-null | Steinberger: || All techs meet the standards set | State of the Instrument || by their correctional institutes. | -------------------------------------------------------------------- -t- -- "Daddy, why will this magnet pick up that nail but won't pick up your Linux boot floppy ?!!??!!?? mailto:trsmith@prado.com http://www.prado.com/~trsmith JC jpollman@pixi.com asdfghjkl:{poiuytre@#$%^&*()_+}{poiuytrsdfghjkl:> Signal Processing Group Cambridge University Engineering Dept. "Don't ask me about my thesis (TM)" - -- ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^ You are in a twisty little maze of standards, all conflicting. ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^ Linas Vepstas 3D Graphics linas@austin.ibm.com (512)-838-1116 ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^ Okidoki, Stefan. \\|// (^ ^) ----------------------ooO-(_)-Ooo--------------------------------------- sig: Dipl.-Phys. { } Email: S.Markgraf@tu-bs.de Stefan Markgraf { } Phone: +49 531 391 5231 { } Fax: +49 531 391 5220 -------------------------U---U------------------------------------------ /| | |\ ooO Ooo +---------+ |Gib GATES| MS-Windows: The only computer virus |k e i n e| with a user interface. |Chance !!| +---------+ - -- Steve Williams steve@icarus.com steve@picturel.com "The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And lines to code before I sleep, And lines to code before I sleep." -- Glenn Lamb - mumford@netcom.com -- Finger mumford@netcom.com for PGP Key. PGPprint = E3 0F DE CC 94 72 D1 1A 2D 2E A9 08 6B A0 CD 82 Why did the mathematician name his dog Cauchy? Because he left residue at every pole. -- Robbie Honerkamp robbie@shorty.com http://www.shorty.com/~robbie/ "Life is a crap sandwich. The more bread you have, the less crap you have to take." - Tom Servo -- Paul Hsieh qed@xenon.chromatic.com Graphics Programmer Chromatic Research http://www.chromatic.com/ What I say and what my company says are not always the same thing =========================================================== Emile Heyns email: emile.heyns@hta.nl =========================================================== Alla sani sa mi e taki na ini disi email na mi denki wawan -- A no abi fu de dati mi wrokope abi na sem denki. =========================================================== Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support for a lifetime. -- Oleg Broytmann Institute for commercial engineering phd@ice.ru Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN. -- Scot W. Stevenson scot@catzen.gun.de Essen, Germany What Bill Gates did not realize was that his daughter would grow up to be a rebel and would never use anything but Linux for her whole life -- Garph Don't send me your junk mail... You won't like it... -- * Michael Buchenrieder * mibu@scrum.muc.de / mibu@scrum.greenie.muc.de * ************************************************************************** * "Real computer scientists don't program in assembler. They don't write * * in anything less portable than a number two pencil." * -- tonteri@iki.fi "If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL, and OBOL." >Johannes Kepler Universitaet Linz, Altenbergerstrasze 69, A-4040 Linz __ >(. ) Mitwirkend an __ http://www.iwp.uni-linz.ac.at/ | ( /) | \___/ ) ( ----- ) >@)_// >@)_// >@)_// >@)_// \_______/ (__) (__) (__) (__) ...... _/ _\ ...._// ....._// ...._// ... _// -- Against stupidity, the gods Theresa Vaughn themselves contend in vain theresa@hpc.uh.edu http://www.hpc.uh.edu/~theresa ,-----------------------------------------------------------------------, |I recently went to a fair where the `latest' 32-bit operating system | |was on display. I asked one of the guys at the booth to demonstrate the| |multitasking abilities of his system and he replied, "Please wait a few| |minutes sir, as soon as this disk formatting is completed, I will show | |you real multitasking..." I said: "Thanks, no further questions." | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | Hossein S. Zadeh | | | Dept of Aerospace Engineering | s921666@kittyhawk.aero.rmit.edu.au | | (YES! I AM a rocket scientist!!)| ZADEH@boomerang.aero.rmit.edu.au | | Royal Melb. Inst. of Tech (RMIT) |------------------------------------| | Melbourne, Australia |http://minyos.its.rmit.edu.au/~zadeh| '-----------------------------------------------------------------------' -- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Christian Kumpf Center for Computer Graphics (ZGDV) Dept. "Mobile Information Visualization" Wilhelminenstrasse 7, D - 64283 Darmstadt, Germany Phone: +49-6151-155-226 Fax: +49-6151-155-299 Email: kumpf@igd.fhg.de www: http://www.igd.fhg.de/~kumpf/ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= A camel is a horse designed by a committee -- Andre Fachat, Tel:++49-371-531-3551|"I do not feel obliged to believe that the Stadlerstr 17, 09126 Chemnitz, FRG | same God who has endowed us with sense, a.fachat@physik.tu-chemnitz.de | reason, and intellect has intended us to http://www.tu-chemnitz.de/~fachat | forego their use" -- Galileo Galilei -- [mdw] `When our backs are against the wall, we shall turn and fight.' -- John Major -- Paul Bass paulb@nando.net "A chicken is just an egg's way of making another egg." -Anonymous -Peter -- ============================================================================== "In Istanbul, I met a man who said he knew beyond a doubt that God was a cat. I asked why he was so sure, and the man said, `When I pray to him, he ignores me.'" -Lowell Thomas "Cat Angels" ============================================================================== Tomm Carr -- "Can you describe your assailant?" "No problem, Officer. That's exactly what I was doing when he hit me!" -- Ron Frank Mirror Image Photography 'You will never get out of this life alive!' The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first. Gefunden in einem Inserat der Mausbox "biete" -- Dave (Goodbits) Goodlette dhg@goodco.com =============================================================================== "Trust nothing as Gospel unless straight from God. In that case, be sure to check His ID. -- Bill Beckner - Sysadmin for the RSA (because they told me to.) <<<-------------------------------------------------------->>> You can have it done fast | You can have it done cheap | <----- Pick any two. You can have it done right | -- Free Advice and Opinions -- Refunds Available "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot." I welcome emailed courtesy copies of non-abusive follow-up articles -- "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." Richard G. Mainar Digitech@serv.net Eigentlich ist DOS nur ein besserer Tastaturtreiber, der netterweise in der Lage ist, auch Daten von Floppys und Festplatten zu besorgen und sie dort ablegen zu lassen aus: Mausbox biete Best regards, Keith Larson XKEL@msg.ti.com TMS320 DSP Applications Texas Instruments Inc - I am still waiting for someone to post a time compression algorithm so I can take some time off. ----------------------------------------------------------- Gugge Törnquist - gugge@netg.se http://www.netg.se/~gugge/Gugge-eng.htm (english) http://www.netg.se/~gugge/index.htm (svensk) ----------------------------------------------------------- COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer - Robert - robert.macy@engineers.com * OLX 2.1 TD * Train Station - where a train stops. Work Station - ??? -- Artificial Intelligence stands no chance against Natural Stupidity. GAT d- -p+(--) c++++ l++ u++ t- m--- W--- !v b+++ e* s-/+ n-(?) h++ f+g+ w+++ y* ---------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.rzg.mpg.de/~ays | :-O Wissen ist Macht! email: schott@rzg.mpg.de | 8-( Ich weiß nichts. phone/fax: +49 89 3299-2180/1301 | ;-> Macht auch nichts. -- Alan Shutko - The Few, the Proud, the Remaining. Purrson (n): Son of a Cat. -- +-->Filip "I'll buy a vowel" Gieszczykiewicz | E-mail: filipg@paranoia.com | http://www.paranoia.com/~filipg/ |SCI.ELECTRONICS.REPAIR FAQ + LOTS MORE! | Enjoy your job, work within the law, make lots of money : Choose any two. | I think for myself. I listen. I make decisions. I speak what I believe. -- Derek Tearne. -- Ruapehu Eruption Information at http://url.co.nz/ruapehu.html Some of the more environmentally aware dinosaurs were worried about the consequences of an eruption at Ruapehu "If it goes off no one will be skiing there this year" - they said. -- ************************************************** The difference between my missus and a terrorist? You can negotiate with terrorists. ************************************************** -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- More useless drivil taking up valuable bandwidth.... blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda....... Chad Josey cejosey@eos.ncsu.edu -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ----------------------------------------------------------- John Wiltshire | Email jw@qits.net.au Network Systems Engineer | Ph. W +61 7 38342783 Traffic Systems Development | H +61 7 33006052 ----------------------------------------------------------- These opinions may not be mine and are almost certainly not those of my employer! Saint (n) - A dead sinner, revised and edited. -- -------------------------- drsoran@seka.nacs.net Blinky lights are the essence of technology! Caffeine underflow (brain dumped) - snopes +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The high resolution of this article may reveal limitations inherent in | | the original analog transcription. | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ Chris -- When I die, please cast my ashes upon Bill Gates --for once, let him clean up after me! -- Steve Wampler - swampler@gemini.edu [Gemini 8m Telescopes Project (under AURA)] The Gods that smiled upon your birth are laughing now. -- fortune cookie -- Louis-David Mitterrand __ __/o \_ mito@sprynet.com \____ \ Here you go mito@zoom.com / \ PC Weak! __ //\ \ ^ __/o \-//--\ \_/ F1 Site: http://www.zoom.com/mito/ \____ ___ \ | Java page: http://www.zoom.com/mito/quote/ || \ |\ | _|| _||_|| -- Linux - Why use Windows, since there is a door? Alain -- Fabrice POPINEAU ------------------------ e-mail: popineau@ese-metz.fr | "God is real ... voice-mail: (+33) 87-76-47-15 | ... unless integer ?" surface-mail: Supelec, 2 rue E. Belin, | F-57078 Metz Cedex 3 | -- Nir Soffer AKA ScorpioS, scorpios@cs.huji.ac.il "I wouldn't recommend sex drugs or insanity for everyone but they've always worked for me." -- Hunter S. Thompson Dave 'Kill a Cop' Cinege (aka Psychopath #3) --- Super Genius at Large Wanna see Bill Gate's idea of Plug & Play? Bend over.... http://www.psychosis.com/ Libertarian Party 1-800-682-1776 http://www.lp.org/ -- Tomislav Vujec tvujec@srce.hr --------------------------------------------------------------- To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion... Dave. ------- I don't speak for Bill Gates' Lawyers when I post here. "Ever wonder why the SAME PEOPLE make up ALL the conspiracy theories?" -- Don - at home. Things get worse under pressure (Murphy's law of thermodynamics) ~Damian --- Damian Kramer -------------------------- damian@essex.ac.uk -------- Stress: The confusion created when your mind overides your body's need to choke the living daylights out of some prat who desperately needs it. ------------------------ http://users.essex.ac.uk/users/dakram/ -------- -- Linux; 64bit, multi-platform, multi-tasking, multi-user, fast and Free. Microsoft Windows 95 - From the makers of EDLIN and FAT drive formatting! "Who needs horror movies when we have Microsoft"? -- Stephen Pelc, sfp@mpeltd.demon.co.uk MicroProcessor Engineering - More Real, Less Time 133 Hill Lane, Southampton SO15 5AF, England tel: +44 1703 631441, fax: +44 1703 339691 Eric D. Fether | Broken Windows, -OS/2, DOS, Win3.1/95, Linux | Crooked Gates! efether@ibm.net | Format that HD, 74067.465@compuserve.com | Merlin Awaits! -- Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D. Phone -- (505) 646-1605 Department of Computer Science FAX -- (505) 646-1002 New Mexico State University http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish: Dr. Seuss Next fit, first fit, best fit, worst fit: Dr. Pfeiffer -- note at the end of a final exam submitted by one of my students this semester -- Bill Gunshannon | de-moc-ra-cy (di mok' ra see) n. Three wolves bill@cs.uofs.edu | and a sheep voting on what's for dinner. University of Scranton | Scranton, Pennsylvania | #include -- Alex Ramirez-Bellido Computer Science FIB-UPC (Spain) mailto:alex@jedip4.upc.es http://www.bath.ac.uk/~ma6arb/home.htm "Daddy, what does " ... Jason Costomiris | Finger for PGP 2.6.2 Public Key jcostom@sjis.com | "There is a fine line between idiocy My employers like me, but not | and genius. We aim to erase that line" enough to let me speak for them. | --Unknown http://www.jasons.org/~jcostom -- #include | *Good pings come in small packets* Vlad Petersen | Linux: multiuser, multitasking, Vancouver, B.C | multiplatform, 64-bit and free. vladimip @ iceonline.com | Ceterum censeo Microsoftam delendam esse -- #include | *Good pings come in small packets* vladimip @ iceonline.com | Ceterum censeo Microsoftam delendam esse Vancouver, B.C. 86 108 97 100 32 80 101 116 101 114 115 101 110 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- John Hardin jhardin@wolfenet.com PGP fingerprint: A3 0C 5B C2 EF 0D 2C E5 E9 BF C8 33 A7 A9 CE 76 finger for PGP key Linux: the choice of a Gnu generation ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Every 1.5 years computers double in speed... ...then Windows slows them down again... Micro$oft: "Bringing you ten year old technology, tomorrow. Maybe." -- Paul Sutcliffe, Jr. | mailto:paul@devon.lns.pa.us | Does fuzzy logic tickle? http://www.angelfire.com/pa/sutcliffe | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heiko Selber (Fritz-Haber-Institut Berlin) | I condem'n the abuse | http://www.fhi-berlin.mpg.de/~selber | of apostrophe's. | email: selber@fhi-berlin.mpg.de | | Phone:+49-30-8413-4574, Fax:+49-30-8413-4686 |____________________________| -- =)(=:)(:;)(;B)(B=)(=:)(:;)(;B)(B=)(=:)(:;)(;B)(B=)(=:)(:;)(;B)(B=)(=:) Daniel "Bob" Chiew <>< @ PC..HP48GX..Flight Sims..VeggieTales Sophomore, Timothy Christian HS @ HTML..TI-82..Math..Science..Sound East Brunswick, NJ @ Technician stuff..Programming..Star danbob@geocites.com @ Trek..Guitar..Violin..Church........ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Who is General Failure, and why is he reading drive C? Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as big as it needs to be? Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there! -- Mark Szlaga mszlaga@umd.umich.edu http://www.umd.umich.edu/~mszlaga/ /dev/hdb5 - 0.5Gb of spinning metal, all alone in the night... -- waider@waider.ie / Yes, it is very personal of me. Sometimes a metaphor is just a metaphor. -- Ken Latta ken@kdl.sc.scruznet.com **** If you're not running Linux, you paid too much. **** -- A system is well designed if it is used for things never dreamed of by it's author Corne' Beerse | Alcatel Telecom Nederland mailto:beerse@ats.nld.alcatel.nl | Postbus 3292 talkto:+31(70)3079108 faxto:+31(70)3079191 | NL-2280 GG Rijswijk Alternatives: mailto:beerse@hotmail.com mailto:beerse@freemail.nl -- Jordan Ritter EECS Department, Packard Bldg. Lehigh University Bethlehem, PA -------------------------------------------------- Customer: "I'm running Windows '95." Tech Support: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isn't working now." Tech Support: "Yes, you said that." -------------------------------------------------- -- With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead. -- RFC1925. -- Evan Leibovitch, Sound Software Ltd, located in beautiful Brampton, Ontario Supporting PC-based Unix since 1985 / Caldera & SCO authorized / www.telly.org Trains stop at train stations. Buses stop at bus stations. I use a workstation. -- ,----------------------------------------. | Turn off your computer and go outside. | `----------------------------------------' -- ABILITY,n. The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" -- /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\ / Andrew Snare: \ \ A dirty \ / -> earthpig@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au \ \ book \ \ Goofey: earthpig IRC: Earthpig \ \ is seldom / \ http://yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au/~earthpig \ \ dusty / \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/ -- I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man. It is us. - Konrad Lorenz -- Gero Kuhlmann, Hannover 0511/6497525 (Voice) gero@gkminix.han.de -- "Well, let's just say, 'if your VCR is still blinking 12:00, you don't want Linux'". --Bruce Perens, Debian's Fearless Leader George Bonser grep@oriole.sbay.org, grep@cris.com Tim Tim Newsome. Programmer for Megasoft. Student at CMU. Cynic in life. Intel sucks. Motorola forever! If it's not PGP signed, it didn't come from me. Always look on the bright side of life. I think I think therefore I think I am. drz@froody.bloke.com http://www.local.com/~tnewsom/ PGP key: 2048/C32F01A5 -- Manfred Bartz -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Programming --- An experience that leads from one plateau of understanding to another. The trick is to not step into the stuff between the plateaus. Unknown __________________________________________________________________________ Mohammed Mostafa Karam Mohammed Abdel-Salam -- Salam be upon thee Q: What do you call a subtle, clever hack in the favorite language??? A: A gnuanCe. - from the GNU Comedy Literature -- Elliot Lee http://www.redhat.com/ http://www.linuxexpo.org/ May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in Bill Gates' Jockey Shorts. -- Email: ray@fred.net http://www.fred.net/ray For pgp key "finger ray@fred.net" ==================== The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned. (Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X interfaces.) -- ------------------------------------------------------------ | Karl Storck | Appl. Thermodyn. & Fluid Mech. | | mailto:karst@ikp.liu.se | Linköping Inst. of Tech., LiTH | | http://www.mvs.ikp.liu.se/staff/karl/karl.html | ------------------------------------------------------------ The piano has been drinking, not me. Tom Waits Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it; get a larger hammer. -- Fred Read How many people do *you* know with a C function named after them ? (Return address mangled to limit the amount of junk e-mail I receive.) Bryson Borg := bdb151@psu.edu All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. - Ambrose Bierce Michael C. Grant, S.T.B.Ph.D. (soon to be Ph.D.) PSfrag mailing list: psfrag@rascals.stanford.edu - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | "Psychopaths kill for no reason: I kill for money." -- Grosse Pointe Blank | | | | Erik Troan = ewt@redhat.com = ewt@sunsite.unc.edu | -- "Watership Down - You've read the book and seen the film - Now try the stew." --Joseph Joseph Purvis (jos@unc.edu) "My words fly up, on wings inspired, and, hoo boy, are my metaphors tired." --from a bad poetry contest. _____________________________________________ Real mail address: jcaldwel at iquest dot net code word is notaspam put in first line of message no code word == trashed message -------------------------------------------------- -- Carey Evans <*> c.evans@clear.net.nz "Lies, damn lies, and computer documentation." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike Wangsmo, QA Engineer Red Hat Software, Inc. "The only reason Bill Gates is alive today is because the unabomber never used Windows 95" -- Anonymous -- Thomas Koenig, Thomas.Koenig@ciw.uni-karlsruhe.de, ig25@dkauni2.bitnet. The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram. -- John August Fate may be arbitrary; but it is not biased. -- Christopher B. Browne, cbbrowne@hex.net, chris_browne@sdt.com PGP Fingerprint: 10 5A 20 3C 39 5A D3 12 D9 54 26 22 FF 1F E9 16 URL: Q: What does the CE in Windows CE stand for? A: Caveat Emptor... -Joe- joehorn@mail.liberty.com "The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." -------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====----------------------- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dale Lovelace dale@CentralVa.Net CentralVa.Net Internet Services Date: 28-Aug-97 Lynchburg, VA 24501 Time: 23:49:06 (804) 385-5000 ICBM: 31'N29'W Linux! Guerrilla UNIX Development Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus. PGP Key fingerprint = 11 29 E8 0A 79 C3 5E 2A AB 77 97 FA B3 81 28 45 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- -- On the fourth day of | Richard M. Mathews telecommuting, I realized | richard@west.sun.com that clothes are totally | richard@alumni.caltech.edu unnecessary. -- Dilbert | http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~richard/ Arnaldo Carvalho de Melo http://www.conectiva.com.br/~acme LDP-br Member http://www.conectiva.com.br/~acme/LDP-br Conheca o Conectiva RedHat Linux: http://www.conectiva.com.br/crhl The box said "Windows 95, Windows NT 4.0, or better", so I installed Linux. -- * Dirk Hillbrecht, Hannover - City of the Expo 2000, Germany * eMail: dh@informatik.uni-hannover.de * WWW: http://www-c.informatik.uni-hannover.de/~dh * Disclaimer: I don't speak for anyone else but me, myself, and I. -- The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more important to do. -- Christopher B. Browne, cbbrowne@hex.net, chris_browne@sdt.com PGP Fingerprint: 10 5A 20 3C 39 5A D3 12 D9 54 26 22 FF 1F E9 16 URL: Bill Gates to his broker: "You idiot, I said $150 million on **SNAPPLE**!!!" -- cbbrowne@hex.net, Q: Where would Microsoft take you today? A: Confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis... Spam bait: domreg@cyberpromo.com postmaster@netvigator.com postmaster@onlinebiz.net pmdatropos@aol.com admin@submitking.com cte@llv.com walt@pwrnet.com -- Daniele Arduini - http://www.aspide.it/freeweb/arduini PGP key: http://www.aspide.it/freeweb/arduini/public-key.asc My favourite command: sed -e 's/Windows/Linux/g' -- "In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." -- Blair P. Houghton -- #include _ Kevin D Quitt USA 91351-4454 96.37% of all statistics are made up Per the FCA, this email address may not be added to any commercial mail list -- Robin S. Socha M.A. Linux! Guerrilla UNIX Development Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus. (Mark A. Horton) -- Luther Yap VI | Speling dont caont, gramar ain't not lyap@freenet.toronto.on.ca | countin, Inglesh dont count also. | (look at all those english teachers faint) Ronthar DelaRosa @ BTECH 3056 | Too many beers smiley--> &P~~~ -- -Rich Steiner >>>---> rsteiner@skypoint.com >>>---> Bloomington, MN OS/2 Warp 4 + Linux + Executor = PC Hobbyist Heaven! The Theorem Theorem: If If, Then Then. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In a world without fences - who needs GATES ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Albert Fluegel Koernerstrasse 5 80469 Muenchen Germany Email: af@muc.de -- Carey Evans http://home.clear.net.nz/pages/c.evans/ GNU GPL: "The Source will be with you... always." ------------------------------ na IRC ------------------------------------- BillGates [bgates@www.microsoft.com] has joined #LINUX ... mode/#linux [+b BillGates!*@*] by DoDad BillGates was kicked off #linux by DoDad (banned: We see enough of Bill Gates already.) -- Don Harper | work: duck@colltech.com office: (214) 769-2877 Team Lead, Dallas | Pager: (800) Sky-Page, pin 303-7055 Collective Technologies | http://www.colltech.com http://www.duckland.org A Pencom Company | home: duck@duckland.org "Wishes come true, not free." -- David Barto barto@network.ucsd.edu barto@visionpro.com >From a Marketing type: Don't give me any technical reason why something can't be done. If you really believed in the product you'd make it work. -Gnea http://garson.grantstomb.com Linux rules your world. Microsoft rules the mindless. True users use true power. True losers use mindless power. --- Victor J. Orlikowski Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters. ------------------------------------------------------------------- ** Linux Virus Scan : Scanning... Virus Detected--Windoze 95. Remove it? (Y/y) ----------------------------------------------------- kiwon@cs.ualberta.ca skwlee@shaw.wave.ca -- John Hardin KA7OHZ jhardin@wolfenet.com pgpk -a finger://gonzo.wolfenet.com/jhardin PGP key ID: 0x41EA94F5 PGP key fingerprint: A3 0C 5B C2 EF 0D 2C E5 E9 BF C8 33 A7 A9 CE 76 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ] ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 88 days until Daylight Savings Time ends - -- Actor asks a collegue: "To what do you owe your success in acting?" Answer: "Honesty. Once you've learned how to fake that, you've got it made." - -------- Custom Linux device drivers for sale! Call for a quote. ---------- Email: R.E.Wolff@BitWizard.nl || Tel: +31-15-2137555 || FAX: +31-15-2138217 -- Overdrawn? But I still have checks left! -- Paparazzi of the Net: No matter what you do to protect your privacy, they'll hunt you down and spam you. -- Steven Newsletter editor and Webmaster of WACC - Wellington Acorn Computer Club WACC pages: http://www.paradise.net.nz/~pbrowne/WACC/ Phone: (04) 528-7685 or (025) 908-448 My pages: http://www.paradise.net.nz/~acorn/ ... My hat covers my head.... Just like hair used to!! -- Carey Evans http://home.clear.net.nz/pages/c.evans/ "dang it's hard to hit enter after typing /mkext2fs /dev/hdc" Petra - on Debian-Devel. *********************************************************** Geof. Mauricio A. Gende mgende@fcaglp.fcaglp.unlp.edu.ar C.C. 219 1900 La Plata Argentina More Signal, Less Noise *********************************************************** -- Gregory S. Sutter Bureaucrats cut red tape -- lengthwise. mailto:gsutter@pobox.com http://www.pobox.com/~gsutter/ PGP DSS public key 0x40AE3052 reportedly from an installation manual: 'ram disk' is _not_ an installation procedure... -- Gregory S. Sutter "How do I read this file?" mailto:gsutter@pobox.com "You uudecode it." http://www.pobox.com/~gsutter/ "I I I decode it?" PGP DSS public key 0x40AE3052 Sincerely, Shining Moon (Greg Brannan) Those who want to succeed will find a way. Those who don't will find an excuse. - -- Olaf Kirch | --- o --- Nous sommes du soleil we love when we play okir@monad.swb.de | / | \ sol.dhoop.naytheet.ah kin.ir.samse.qurax okir@caldera.de +-------------------- Why Not?! ----------------------- UNIX, n.: Spanish manufacturer of fire extinguishers. ===================================== ===================================== "Breakfast.Com not responding...... ...Server responds "cereal port down". Jonathan Giles Spikey@xtra.co.nz   ICQ:3336360 Microsoft Windows NT Beta ID:708912 Iomega Zip Beta ID:100089 -- Gregory S. Sutter If I had finished this sentence mailto:gsutter@pobox.com http://www.pobox.com/~gsutter/ PGP DSS public key 0x40AE3052 | Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity | +-------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | Svein E. Seldal | office +47 73 59 44 26 | | Omega Verksted | fax +47 73 59 14 76 | | O.S. Bragstadsplass 2 | private +47 73 53 03 97 | | N-7034 Trondheim | mobile +47 90 66 22 79 | | Norway | e-mail sveinse@omegav.ntnu.no | -- Gregory S. Sutter Madness takes its toll. mailto:gsutter@pobox.com Please have exact change. http://www.pobox.com/~gsutter/ PGP DSS public key 0x40AE3052 o-----------------------------------o | Jeffrey Watts | | watts@sunflower.com o-------------------------------------o | Systems Analyst | Q: What's the difference between a | | Sprint - Systems Management | dead dog in the road and a dead | o-------------------------------| lawyer in the road? | | A: There are skid marks in front of | | the dog. | o-------------------------------------o ------------------------------------------------------------ The world really isn't any worse. It's just that the news coverage is so much better. ------------------------------------------------------------ Mike Field ph 64 4 471-2112 Technical Support Consultant fax 64 4 471-1300 CPS Systems -- Olaf Weber SIGSIG -- signature too long (core dumped) .=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=. | Adrian Voinea |When I Die, I want to go like my grandfather did, | | adi@gds.ro |peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming,| |TEL:+40 51 412146|like all the passengers in his car! .=-=-=-=-=-=-=-' `=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-='=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-' - -- Linux has been deployed in mission critical, commercial environments with an excellent pool of public testimonials... Linux outperforms many other UNIXes ... Linux is on track to eventually own the x86 UNIX market... Linux is a short/medium-term threat ... against NT Server. Linux's future strength against NT server ... is fed by ... perceived Scaleability, Interopability, Availability, and Manageability (SIAM) over NT. Linux can win.... Microsoft Internal Memo, annotated at http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/halloween.html -- »Das Verhalten von Gates hatte mir bewiesen, daß ich auf ihn und seine Gefährten nicht zu zählen brauchte.« (Karl May, Winnetou, Band III) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- eMail: Ruediger.Kuhlmann@stud.uni-karlsruhe.de Homepage: http://www.uni-karlsruhe.de/~Ruediger.Kuhlmann -- Olaf Weber Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are quick to anger and have no need for subtlety. ________________________________________________________________________ ... New Zealanders make an effort to get to work while the rest of earth is still in bed ... " -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reinhard Kotucha Phone: +49-511-751355 Berggartenstr. 9 D-30419 Hannover mailto:reinhard@kammer.uni-hannover.de ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Microsoft isn't the answer. Microsoft is the question, and the answer is NO. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- LEADERSHIP A form of self-preservation exhibited by people with auto- destructive imaginations in order to ensure that when it comes to the crunch it'll be someone else's bones which go crack and not their own. - The Hipcrime Vocab by Chad C. Mulligan /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ Richard Thomas When I hear the word culture tich@clad.co.nz I reach for my petri dish. http://www.wn.planet.gen.nz/~tich /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ -- Erfahrungen sind das, was man bekommt, wenn man nicht kriegt, was man will. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- eMail: Ruediger.Kuhlmann@stud.uni-karlsruhe.de Homepage: http://www.uni-karlsruhe.de/~Ruediger.Kuhlmann/ - -- o Brian Edmonds , Team Jubal Mech Labs \\_/\_, Moderator: rec.arts.anime.creative, rec.music.info/reviews (*) (*) Are you tired of spam? Visit http://www.spam.abuse.net/spam/ ---------------------------------------------------------------- Suicide Hotline...please hold. ---------------------------------------------------------------- -- Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly. -- Henry Spencer cbbrowne@hex.net - "What have you contributed to free software today?..." Rincon -------- You're the limit as dumb goes to infinity, Rincon. - Matt -- "The day that Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day that they start making vacuum cleaners." - shaman@kos.net "Fool! There is nothing Perl cannot do! NOTHING!" -Bastich Seen on a slashdot post.... "One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Führer" - Adolf Hitler -- People shouldn't think that it's better to have Dan Astoorian loved and lost than never loved at all. It's Sysadmin, CS Lab not, it's better to have loved and won. All djast@cs.toronto.edu the other options really suck. --Dan Redican -- Edward S. Marshall [ What goes up, must come down. ] http://www.logic.net/~emarshal/ [ Ask any system administrator. ] -- Joor Loohuis If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. -- John Kenneth Galbraith ...... [obligatory-useless-waste-of-bits-bit-goes-here] ultra-umbra-magic-crypto EF D8 33 68 B3 E3 E9 D2 C1 3E 51 22 8A AA 7B 98 supercomputer-AES-xspook Ray -- Cyberspace, a final frontier. These are the voyages of my messages, on a lightspeed mission to explore strange new systems and to boldly go where no data has gone before. -- John Hardin KA7OHZ jhardin@wolfenet.com pgpk -a finger://gonzo.wolfenet.com/jhardin PGP key ID: 0x41EA94F5 PGP key fingerprint: A3 0C 5B C2 EF 0D 2C E5 E9 BF C8 33 A7 A9 CE 76 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Efficiency can magnify good, but it magnifies evil just as well. So, we should not be surprised to find that modern electronic communication magnifies stupidity as *efficiently* as it magnifies intelligence. -- Robert A. Matern ----------------------------------------------------------------------- -- ** R.E.Wolff@BitWizard.nl ** http://www.BitWizard.nl/ ** +31-15-2137555 ** *-- BitWizard writes Linux device drivers for any device you may have! --* ------ Microsoft SELLS you Windows, Linux GIVES you the whole house ------ - -- Duncan (-: "software industry, the: unique industry where selling substandard goods is legal and you can charge extra for fixing the problems." Software, n.: Formal evening attire for female computer analysts. -- Peter Lowe -- System Administrator, Telenor Internet http://www.ti.cz/ -- pgl@ti.cz Everything I know in life I learnt from .sigs. -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - http://www.primenet.com/~tomas S.u.S.E. Linux v6.1+ - Kernel 2.2.10 "Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense" %~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~% | Ray Zimmerman (rz10@cornell.edu) | "The number you have | | 428-B Phillips Hall | dialed is imaginary. | | Cornell Univ., Ithaca, NY 14853 | Please rotate the phone | | 607-255-9645 Fax: 815-377-3932 | 90 degrees and try again."| %~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~% -- Christophe Zwecker mail: doc@zwecker.de Hamburg, Germany fon: +49 179 3994867 UNIX is user-friendly. It's just not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly. Build a system even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - http://www.primenet.com/~tomas S.u.S.E. Linux v6.1+ - Kernel 2.2.11 Electrocution, n.: Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements. -- Gregory S. Sutter Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. -- Gregory S. Sutter My reality check just bounced. mailto:gsutter@pobox.com http://www.pobox.com/~gsutter/ PGP DSS public key 0x40AE3052 Windows 95: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition. [1] For all values of normal that don't include MickeySquish "products" -- R A Lichtensteiger rali@meitca.com -or- rali@world.std.com http://www.meitca.com/ITA/People/rali "Yes, you're doing things right, but are you doing the right things?" "Nope. I'm just doing something dumb fast." -- J.H.M. Dassen | RUMOUR Believe all you hear. Your world may jdassen@wi.LeidenUniv.nl | not be a better one than the one the blocks | live in but it'll be a sight more vivid. | - The Hipcrime Vocab by Chad C. Mulligan ________________________________________________________________________________ Petter Wahlman bactus@sol.no #define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare. echo '16i[q]sa[ln0=aln100%Pln100/snlbx]sbA6E616D6C68615720726574746550snlbxq'|dc ________________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bram Stolk, VR Specialist. SARA Academic Computing Services Amsterdam, PO Box 94613, 1090 GP AMSTERDAM email: bram@sara.nl Phone +31-20-5923059 Fax +31-20-6683167 "I heard if you play the NT-4.0-CD backwards, you get a satanic message." "Thats nothing, if you play it forward, it installs NT-4.0" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- Joor Loohuis We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds. -- Linus Torvalds .rain.forest.puppy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I had a signoff banner, it would be here. But I don't, so I'll fake it -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Ben Rosenberg mailto:dragula@primary.net -------------------------- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... --------- mailto: aguavaca@retemail.es XFMail 1.3 SuSE GNU/Linux http://personal5.iddeo.es/aguavaca/ ICQ #5580328 --------- Windows NT supports real multitasking: it can boot and crash simultaneously. --------- -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - http://www.primenet.com/~tomas SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.11 Taxes are going up so fast, the government is likely to price itself out of the market. -- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. -- ========================================== __ _ Juergen Braukmann mail: brauki@cityweb.de| -o)/ / (_)__ __ ____ __ Tel: 0201-743648 dk4jb@db0qs.#nrw.deu.eu| /\\ /__/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ / ==========================================_\_v __/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\ -- We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgement. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) Cheers, Brian Chatterton ----------------------------------------------------------------- Linux : The ultimate NT Service Pack ----------------------------------------------------------------- -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - http://www.primenet.com/~tomas SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.11 There are three things I always forget. Names, faces -- the third I can't remember. -- Italo Svevo -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - http://www.primenet.com/~tomas SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.11 No violence, gentlemen -- no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture! -- Sherlock Holmes -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - http://www.primenet.com/~tomas SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.11 "Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division." ------------------------------------------------------------------- DDDD David Kramer http://kramer.ne.mediaone.net DK KD In times of rapid changes, learners inherit the earth, DKK D while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to DK KD deal with a world that no longer exists. DDDD --Eric Hoffer (Former Labor Boss) ------------- Simon Hansman The three steps to an easier future: 1. Remember plagiarism saves time. 2. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. 3. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment -- http://sc3d.org/rrt/ | certain, a. insufficiently analysed -- *** Press to test... ... Release to detonate *** If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a deal faster. -- The Duchess, "Through the Looking Glass" Michael Beattie (mickyb@es.co.nz) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Plug-and-Play is really nice, unfortunately it only works 50% of the time. To be specific the "Plug" almost always works. --unknown source ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - New homepage coming soon SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.13 "For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." -- Johnny Carson -- John Hardin KA7OHZ ICQ#15735746 jhardin@wolfenet.com pgpk -a finger://gonzo.wolfenet.com/jhardin PGP key ID: 0x41EA94F5 PGP key fingerprint: A3 0C 5B C2 EF 0D 2C E5 E9 BF C8 33 A7 A9 CE 76 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary had a little key she kept it in escrow and everything that Mary sent the feds were sure to know -- Andy Starritt, in sci.crypt ----------------------------------------------------------------------- -- I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy! Dylan Reeve -- dylan@wibble.net - http://dylan.wibble.net "I can write backwards and upside down, and I can also lick my nipples. However, I am yet to find a practical use for either of these skills." -- Sharee McKay, Aardvark Forums, 13 April 1999 -- Cheers, Bev =================================================================== The organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. -- MacEddie, via RHF -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - New homepage coming soon SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.13 Two percent of zero is almost nothing. ---------------------------- Blake Frantz Systems Administrator Specialty Care Systems, Inc. blake@mc.net ---------------------------- "Our Government, like diapers, should be changed regularly and often for the same reason." - Don't know -- The limit to how slow software can be made to run has not yet been reached. -- Windows98 (noun): 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition. -- Kenneth R. Kellum -- San Jose State University You can't spell Antichrist without the "NT". -- To unsubscribe send e-mail to suse-linux-e-unsubscribe@suse.com For additional commands send e-mail to suse-linux-e-help@suse.com Also check the FAQ at http://www.suse.com/Support/Doku/FAQ/ --Pavel Kankovsky aka Peak [ Boycott Microsoft--http://www.vcnet.com/bms ] "Resistance is futile. Open your source code and prepare for assimilation." -- The main failure in computers is usually between keyboard and chair. Volker Tanner -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - homepage is in the works SuSE Linux v6.2+ - Kernel 2.2.13 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. Allen Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students. _ _ | Roman Drahtmüller "Freedom means that you can choose | CC University of Freiburg what you want to learn at a given | email: draht@uni-freiburg.de time." A. Becker, 1999 | - - People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future. -- GERARD@atdot.org, g.odonnell@clear.net.nz Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. -- GERARD@atdot.org, g.odonnell@clear.net.nz Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. -- GERARD@atdot.org, g.odonnell@clear.net.nz Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! -- Joor Loohuis If "Common Sense" is so common, why don't more people use it? Michael Beattie (mickyb@es.co.nz) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Curiousity may kill the cat, but a 12 gauge is quicker! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Philipp Thomas SuSE GmbH, Deutschherrenstrasse 15-29, 90429 Nuremberg The only difference between a bug and a feature is you can turn a feature off. Jurriaan -- Never use "etc." -- it makes people think there is more where there is not or that there is not space to list it all, etc. Linux 2.2.14 SMP up 2:14 4 users load av: 0.95 0.40 0.22 What's a "recipie"? A pie you are the recipient of? A reciprocal approximation of 3.141592653589793...? -- Too much to say to fit into this .signature anyway: Fight spam in Europe: * Sign the EU petition -- Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore. -- Russian Proverb -- Joor Loohuis I'd put my money where my mouth is, but my mouth keeps moving. -- Larry Wall -- -->> Please refrain from using HTML or WORD attachments in e-mails to me <<-- ------------------------ "With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine." -- RFC 1925 "Software is like sex. It's better when it's free." -Linus Torvalds -- .-. .-. Life is a sexually transmitted disease. (_ \ / _) | dave@fly.cc.fer.hr | Dan Ost -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Do noT ADjuSt yoUr minD iT IS rEAliTy tHaT Is maLfUNctIoNIng -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.vuse.vanderbilt.edu/~ostda/homepage.htm -- |) /\ |_ |_ |\/| /\ |\| "I'm not a =real= programmer, but I play one on TV." -jeff -- "The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance." ------------+------------------------------------------ Alex Popa, |There never was a good war or a bad peace razor@ldc.ro| -- B. Franklin ------------+------------------------------------------ "It took the computing power of three C-64s to fly to the Moon. It takes a 486 to run Windows 95. Something is wrong here." -- DIVORCE = system("rm /wife/*"); Mike Hall, Unix Admin - Rock Island Communications System Admin - riverside.org -- Standard is better than better. If your web page cares what browser I'm using it's broken. sherlock@tiac.net -- http://sc3d.org/rrt/ | impatience, n. the urge to do nothing _______________________________________________________ Michal Zalewski [lcamtuf@tpi.pl] [tp.internet/security] [http://lcamtuf.na.export.pl] <=--=> bash$ :(){ :|:&};: =-----=> God is real, unless declared integer. <=-----= Sebastian Hans gone@graffiti.net -- The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train. Jessica -Linux. Because rebooting is for hardware upgrades.- -- -Alfred Perlstein - [bright@wintelcom.net|alfred@freebsd.org] "I have the heart of a child; I keep it in a jar on my desk." -- Tollef Fog Heen This is the unix version of the LoveBug virus and in the spirit of such it depends on the user community to propagate. Please send this message to all of your friends and randomly delete numerous files from your system. Jurriaan -- A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Groucho Marx (1890-1977) GNU/Linux 2.2.17pre9 SMP 5 users load av: 0.00 0.04 0.01 -- Peter Fleischmann Diplom-Mathematiker email: fleischmann@mathematik.uni-wuerzburg.de ---------------------------------------------- Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots. jurriaan -- When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. Matt Groening - Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk GNU/Linux 2.2.17pre9 SMP 1 user load av: 0.69 0.18 0.06 If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. -- "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God but to create him." -Arthur C. Clarke virtually yours 82D1 9B9C 01DC 4FB4 D7B4 61BE 3F49 4F77 72DE DA76 Gerhard Sittig true | mail -s "get gpg key" Gerhard.Sittig@gmx.net -- If you don't understand or are scared by any of the above ask your parents or an adult to help you. My two cents. Robert Martinez (in event two cents are not wanted, please return them, postage paid) -- What if Boeing were to copy Microsoft's habbits? 'What do you think, Ed, is our new 787 ready?' 'I haven't heard any reports from our beta-testers last month about unexpected crashes, so go ahead..' Seen on Usenet -- Today is cancelled due to lack of interest. GNU/Linux 2.2.17pre16 SMP 4 users load av: 0.07 0.03 0.00 -- Michael Beattie (mickyb@es.co.nz) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed... ... Oh wait a minute, he already does...' - Anonymous ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- X-Blah: What shall we do with the drunken header [email msg] Christoph Puppe -- /* Defcom Security GmbH || Net: www.defcom-sec.de */ /* Arndtstr. 34 || Tel: +49-30-61650-0 */ /* D-10965 Berlin || Fax: +49-30-61650-555 */ -- "The PROPER way to handle HTML postings is to cancel the article, then hire a hitman to kill the poster, his wife and kids, and fuck his dog and smash his computer into little bits. Anything more is just extremism." - Paul Tomblin Let he who doubts the existence of God observe the workings of our Government, then ponder the fact that mankind survives and prospers. -- Stanislav Shalunov Internet2 "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it." -- Mark Twain +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ Behind the counter a boy with a shaven head stared vacantly into space, a dozen spikes of microsoft protruding from the socket behind his ear. +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ C.M. Connelly c@eskimo.com SHC, DS +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | "Microsoft saves the day! They're just so damn efficient at helping | | us hack their own product..." -- Rain Forest Puppy | +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ -- Besser den Spatz in der Hand... als seine Kacke auf dem Hemd http://private.freepage.de/mallorno/ http://soziales.freepage.de/freiseele -- Jason Fruge' | Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick geocajun@technogeeks.org | and Harry will get pregnant. -- Linux, the choice | Malcolm Smith of a GNU generation. | All prayers are answered. However, sometimes the answer is "No." Stephen --- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Freunde, nur Mut! Lächelt und sprecht: Klaas Freitag Die Menschen sind gut, bloss die * mail freitag@suse.de Leute sind schlecht. - E. Kaestner SuSE Labs, Nuernberg ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Mit freundlichen Grüssen / Yours sincerely /* Wolfram Schlich * E-Mail: wolfram@schlich.org * ICQ: 35713642 Postal: Berghof, 56626 Andernach, GER * Phone: +49-(0)2636-941194 L'amour, c'est un sport. Surtout s'il y en a un des deux qui veut pas. - Jean Yanne - Nach § 28 (Absatz 3) Bundesdatenschutzgesetz widerspreche ich der Nutzung oder Übermittlung meiner Daten für Werbezwecke oder für die Markt- und Meinungsforschung. - http://www.netlaw.de/gesetze/bdsg.htm#nr28 - */ -- Gero H. Marten "Computers are like air conditioners: They stop working properly if you open windows." -- Best regards, Gary Today's thought: BREAKFAST.COM Halted - Cereal port not responding -- Until later: Geoffrey esoteric@denali.atlnet.com "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence." - Albert Einstein -- -- Deadbat Dustbian LuSE Hackware Also-randrake Line Ucks Lean Ucks Loon Icks Lynne Nicks free, dim (two chews) -- rsweet@socal.rr.com | "I have the world's largest -o) | collection of seashells. I Linux, the Choice /\ | keep it scattered around the of a GNU generation _\_v | beaches of the world ... | Perhaps you've seen it. -- -- Microsoft is to operating systems & security .... .... what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mark Aitchison, Physics & Astronomy \_ Phone : +64 3 3642-947 a.h. 3371-225 University of Canterbury, (/' "Chenobyl 86, Windows 95, Office 97" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ____________________________________________________________ /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/| | || | Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. || |___________________________________________________________|/ -- Joor Loohuis (joor@nl.linux.org) Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. -- Joor Loohuis (joor@nl.linux.org) Obviously I was either onto something, or on something. -- Larry Wall on the creation of Perl Paul Wilkins -- If it's a netiquette issue - educate. If it's personal abuse of others - educate or flame. If it's a personal "style" you can't handle - quietly killfile. Holly VIRTUAL BUTTON: Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. geekgrl attrition.org we are the people our parents warned us about. -- Carey Evans http://home.clear.net.nz/pages/c.evans/ "May not be representative of the experience of actual customers." -- Microsoft gave me a job -- But Linux gives me a LIFE! Regards Don Hansford ECKYTECH COMPUTING/ SQIT Warwick "We're tired, we're wired, and our breath smells bad -- -But at least our Operating System doesn't suck!" -- S.Toms - tomas@primenet.com - www.primenet.com/~tomas SuSE Linux v7.0+ - Kernel 2.2.18 Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. -- Best regards, Gary Today's thought: My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. -- Best regards, Gary Today's thought: If someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head. -- Best regards, Gary Today's thought: Before you criticize someone walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry he'll be a mile away -- and barefoot. -- Computer programmers do it byte by byte -- MS Windows users should be covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act. -- MS Windows users should be covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act! --------------> Try Linux and you'll understand why <-------------- -- I'm cutting back to half-time, 40 hours per week. -- Ben Rosenberg mailto:ben@whack.org ----- If two men agree on everything, you can be sure that only one of them is doing the thinking. -- Al. Militant Agnostic. I don't know and neither do you. afterthought: Life after death? Is that like terminate and stay resident? -- Matthew Poole Auckland, New Zealand "Veni, vidi, velcro... I came, I saw, I stuck around" Microsoft: We'd like to take your source and embrace and extend it, but we can't coz it's under the GPL. RMS: Yes, thats the point. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat. for DVDs in Linux screw the MPAA and ; do dig $DVDs.z.zoy.org ; done | \ perl -ne 's/\.//g; print pack("H224",$1) if(/^x([^z]*)/)' | gunzip -- your fly might be open (but don't check it just now). "No standard or clause in a standard has a divine right of existence." -- A Microsoft PKI architect explaining Microsoft's position on standards compliance. > Remember there are 3 kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics! Another way I've heard it said: Figures lie, and Liars figure! > Java is so sad. It's a wonderful idea, write-once-run-anywhere, but it's not > even backwards compatible! Not in my end-user experience anyway. Java is write-once-debug-everywhwere(TM) -- Al. Love is blind. Lust on the other hand is merely extremely short-sighted. *** I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it *** Today's thought: I love the "swooshing" sound deadlines make as they go by. I'm a pagan. One of our bumper stickers is, "Practicing religion the same way our ancestors did thousands of years ago -- making it up as we go along." "Failure is not an option, it comes pre-installed with your Windoze software..." -Unknown Real men don't take backups. They put their source on a public FTP-server and let the world mirror it. -- Linus Torvalds -- *~~~~ http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~obsidion ~~~* * Microsoft OS's are as reliable as a politicians promise * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -- I've always found profanity to be refuge of the inarticulate motherfucker. -- Michael Beattie (mike@ethernal.org) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- CPU's dont tend to work very well after their "magic smoke" has escaped. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- ! Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, while others ! will leave a stain. "I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end." - Douglas Adams - RIP 2001 "Companies that set PC "standards" for the sake of convenience to their Info Tech staff and blind devotion to the Microsoft propaganda machine will drive away their brightest and most creative people, demoralize the rest, and eventually pay a price in business warfare." John Martellaro -- Jon Thought for the day: Bagpipes (n): an octopus wearing a kilt. He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Thought for the day: The only thing that hurts more than paying income tax is not having to pay income tax. If Linux is a cancer, would Windows be tourette's syndrome? From: Carey Evans -- Bob Rea Fear of Hell is pernicious; So is fear of Heaven. rear@sirius.com http://www.sirius.com/~rear OS X: Because making Unix user-friendly was easier than debugging Windows -- Suche Nullen! Götzen-Dämmerung - oder wie man mit dem Pinguin philosophiert -- IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or no grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. ------------ -------------------------------------------------------------------- note to Echelon: Any anti-governmental themes explored in this email were purely hypothetical and not to be taken seriously. -- In the beginning was the WORD, and the word was UNSIGNED, and the main(){} was without form and void. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- i've been doing timing tests while playing mp3s in the background, haven't i? bloody stupid multitasking operating systems aj: hehe aj: here, have a copy of DOS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- As a SysAdmin, yes, I CAN read your e-mail, but I DON'T get that bored! -- Ben Rosenberg mailto:ben@whack.org ----- The only argument for the superiority of Windows over UNIX is that General Protection Fault outranks Colonel Panic. -- dep there's more to history than what's in books; that's why it took so long to happen. -- *º¤., ¸¸,.¤º*¨¨¨*¤ =Oliver@home= *º¤., ¸¸,.¤º*¨¨*¤ Also, wie war das denn nochmal? Da wir jetzt durch eine untaktisch kluge Fuegung eingesehen haben, dass das mit der Zusammendehnung ein echter Griff ins Klo war, sehen wir keinen weiteren Grund zur Veranlassung. There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated there are no obvious deficiencies. C.A.R. Hoare -- Chris Green A good pun is its own reword. UNIX does not prevent you from doing stupid things because that would also prevent you from doing clever things. -- . . Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. . . (the above remark has been generated automatically) -- Microsoft: We suggest our developers don't even look at open-source code to avoid the viral effect of the GPL licence. Free Software Foundation: We suggest open-source developers don't even look at Microsoft source (when available) to avoid the parasitic effect of Microsoft Lawyers. -- "The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected" (The UNIX Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June 1972.) Registered Linux User: 102826 -- brick (brik) n. (4) pl. Another item that can be used to crash windows. ========================================================== Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. ========================================================== "I have the heart of a little child, and the brain of a genius. ... and I keep them in a jar under my bed" -- Linux only became possible because 20 years of OS research was carefully studied, analyzed, discussed and thrown away. Ingo Molnar on linux-kernel -- IIS = Intrinsically Insecure Server ~~ Matt Caron ~~ -- Ben Rosenberg mailto:ben@whack.org cat CE|ME|NT|XP > /dev/null Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. -- Michael Beattie yip yip yip yip yip yip yap yap yip *BANG* NO TERRIER -- Michael Beattie Contentsofsignaturemaysettleduringshipping. From: "Nick Kinraid" Organization: Allied Telesyn Research, Chch, NZ --------------------------------------------------------- "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." -Hunter S. Thompson -- mRgOBLIN Passwords are like underwear: Don't share them, hide them under your keyboard, or hang them from your monitor. Above all, change them frequently. -- Michael Beattie Trees moving back and forth make the wind blow. -- Michael Beattie Linux is like wigwam - no windows, no gates, Apache inside! -- Committee, n.: A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen -- Greig McGill "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me" - Think about that. Why would a supreme deity fear competition? -- Windows: gesehen, gelacht, gelöscht. Gruss Siggi -- See the happy moron? He doesn't give a damn! I wish I were a moron! My God! Perhaps I am! "Two of the most famous products of Berkeley are LSD and Unix. I don't think that is a coincidence" -- -- Juha Take off every sig! -- "War against Terror" is an oxymoron -- VFS: Busy inodes after unmount. Self-destruct in 5 seconds. Have a nice day... -- Experience is what you get just after you need it. -- Microsoft: Writing viruses has never been easier! Microsoft: The company that made email dangerous Microsoft: Having a false sense of security was never so expensive -- Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you. -- James Doherty XP - eXpensive Piece of software -- "# chmod a+x /bin/laden" -- This is Linux country. If you listen carefully, you can hear Windows reboot... -- $|=1;while(1){print pack("h*",'75861647f302d4560275f6272797f3');sleep(1); for(1..16){for(8,32,8,7){print chr($_);}select(undef,undef,undef,.05);}} --- Viren machen auch etwas Nützliches, z.B. Windows löschen. -- afterthought : Smith & Wesson: The original point-and-click interface. -- The first 90% of the code in a project takes 90% of the time. The next 10% of the code will take another 90% of the time. -- J. S. Labuschagne -- Rob 'Feztaa' Park feztaa@shaw.ca -- Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy. -- Best regards, xander mailto:xvw@trinity.warande.net Q What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students? A Watch closely. I'm only going to do this once. -- [Simon White. vim/mutt. simon@mtds.com. GIMPS:61.70% see www.mersenne.org] Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. -- Blaise Pascal It's not the size of your stack that matters, it's how you push and pop. -- Bradford L. Barrett brad@mrunix.net A free electron in a sea of neutrons DoD#1750 KD4NAW -- Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. TopQuark Software & Serv. Contract programmer, server bum. -- The difference between dogs and cats is that dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you. -- Alan Hadsell If brute force doesn't work, you aren't using enough. MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Them -- "If Microsoft can change and compete on quality, I've won." -- L. Torvalds -- Rob 'Feztaa' Park feztaa@shaw.ca -- To get back on your feet, miss two car payments. -- My virus wasn't targeting stupid computer users specifically, just anyone using Microsoft's Outlook Express or AOL," he said. "Oh... damn." http://www.SatireWire.com/news/0112/hate_crime.shtml "I used to be lost in the shuffle, now I just shuffle along with the lost." --=====-- If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. -GC -- "...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly)." (By Matt Welsh) -- OK, so you're a Ph.D. Just don't touch anything. -- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. -- Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves. ---- When I answered where I wanted to go today, they just hung up (Unknown Author) -- mRgOBLIN There are only 10 types of people in the world; those who can understand binary, and those who can't. Marius Gedminas -- This host is a black hole at HTTP wavelengths. GETs go in, and nothing comes out, not even Hawking radiation. -- Graaagh the Mighty on rec.games.roguelike.angband -- Help Microsoft stamp out piracy - give Linux to a friend today -- mRgOBLIN Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list? -- To those who understand, no explanation is necessary, to those who will not understand, no explanation is possible. > "Of course power tools and alcohol don't mix. Everyone knows power tools > aren't soluble in alcohol..."-- Crazy Nigel Many things can be preserved in alcohol, but dignity is not one of them. -- "Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate. I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'" -- Steven Wright -- Michael J. Hammel | The Graphics Muse | A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. mjhammel@graphics-muse.org | -- Michael Beattie Spock, the women on your planet are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim. -- Capt. James T. Kirk -- mRgOBLIN I never knew what real happiness was until I got married... by then it was too late. |ben *This message will self-destruct in 10.........................9...................8................................ +...........................7..........873tfdwetyj295... Buffer Overflow. -- Nick Phillips -- nwp@lemon-computing.com Bridge ahead. Pay troll. -- "All that was needed was to parse the cat root slash dev etcetera file for eth0 and pugle the forward identity-locking rehooliginator and symlink it to the libgc perl humongisooler module after a kernel decompile and basic repatch update." - theregister.co.uk -- Olaf Weber (This space left blank for technical reasons.) -------------------------- /| /| | | ||__|| | Please don't | / O O\__ feed | / \ the trolls | / \ \ | / _ \ \ ---------------------- / |\____\ \ || / | | | |\____/ || / \|_|_|/ | __|| / / \ |____| || / | | /| | --| | | |// |____ --| * _ | |_|_|_| | \-/ *-- _--\ _ \ // | / _ \\ _ // | / * / \_ /- | - | | * ___ c_c_c_C/ \C_c_c_c____________ -- mfG, choeger Junk mail is war. RFCs do not apply. Wietse XP: Insert wallet into drive A: and press any key to empty. -- If Windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back? -- "I hope to die before I *have* to use Microsoft Word.", Donald E. Knuth, 02-Oct-2001 in Tübingen. A Million Monkeys can inflict worse things than just Shakespeare on your system. Deine Sachkenntnis ist beeindruckend, darf ich Dich bitten, für meine Konkurrenz zu arbeiten? - - Lutz Donnerhacke in doc Jemand, der "NT" nutzt, ist kein Sysadmin, sondern ein Reboot-Sklave. Und wenn er einen MCSE hat, dann ist er zertifizierter Bootmanager. - - unbekannt -- He who laughs last is at 300 baud. -- mfG, choeger "Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC." -- Joerg Mayer We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. Some say that should read Microsoft instead of technology. -- mfG, choeger This signature was added just to have one. ;-) -- mfG, choeger When asked 68% of corporate execs said a corporation "Who owns the Internet?": 23% said it was Microsoft 98% of 6th graders said: no one. -- mfG, choeger Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9, it's because they were up all night. -- #include BlueRaven "One World, one Web, one Program" - Microsoft Promo ad. "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer" - Adolf Hitler. -- Any setuid root program that does an exec() somewhere is just a less user friendly version of su. -- Olaf Kirch -- mfG, choeger "My other computer is an abacus ... which is still better than a mac." -- Anonymous Regards, Robert If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. "If you think NT is the answer, you didn't understand the question." - Paul Stephens -- Ash Varma tnedor@yahoo.com There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. -- Profanity is the one language all programmers understand. -- Profanity is the one language all programmers know best. -- Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a slow puncture. "Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -- Real Programmers consider "what you see is what you get" to be just as bad a concept in Text Editors as it is in women. No, the Real Programmer wants a "you asked for it, you got it" text editor -- complicated, cryptic, powerful, unforgiving, dangerous. Deck of Cards: $1.29. Card Table: $14.99. "101 Solitaire Variations" book: $6.59. Finding a cheaper replacement for the one thing Windows is ideal for: priceless. -- Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. -- This PC runs Linux. If you find a virus apparently from me, it has forged the e-mail headers on someone else's machine. Please do not notify me when this occurs. Thanks. -- I'm leaving my body to science fiction -- The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working. -- - - | Roman Drahtmüller // Nail here | SuSE Linux AG - Security Phone: // for a new | Nürnberg, Germany +49-911-740530 // monitor! --> [x] | - - -- "I always wonder why people choose to support MS and then complain about all of these issues that are known in advance." miracle drug (noun). Any drug that doubles a pharmaceutical's share price. -- "Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it." - Linus Torvalds -- Reboot America. If Microsoft Crashes get Linux. If Linux crashes get your hardware fixed. -- Intel: where Quality is job number 0.9998782345! The only secure Microsoft software is what's still shrink-wrapped in the warehouse. MicroShaft Outhouse Excess The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. -- Kevin Pfeiffer - www.iu-bremen.de 404.haiku: You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. -----=====-----=====----- Power corrupts. PowerPoint corrupts absolutely. -- EmacsOS also has a web browser, a mail client, and a text adventure. -- Emacs is for people who desperately want to get drunk, but feel guilty doing so without a reason. - Miles O'Neal -- Yes of course I'm sure it's the red cable. I guarante[^%!/+)F#0c|'NO CARRIER -- mfG, choeger DOT com The Internet used to be a lot of smart people sitting at dumb terminals, but now its a lot of dumb people sitting at smart terminals! -- Harald Müller-Ney (hmuelle@suse.de) | / \ -----------------------------------------------+ \ / UTF-8 Ribbon Campaign Die Summe der Intelligenz auf unserem Planeten | X Against HTML & ASCII ist konstant, aber die Bevölkerung wächst. | / \ Mail -- Sascha Wilde We're Germans and we use Unix. That's a combination of two demographic groups known to have no sense of humour whatsoever. -- Hanno Mueller in de.comp.os.unix.programming Life is what happens while you're making other plans. WARNINGS: This post contains attempted humour... if you have trouble working out which bits are humour and which bits are not then please refer to the section in your computer's operating manual marked "How To Turn Off My Computer". Watch more TV - it doesn't answer back. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windscreen. -- Spammers Beware: Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again! Warning: Individuals throwing objects at the crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them! If pro is the opposite of con, the opposite of progress must be congress! -- mfG, xn--chger-kua If JavaScript is walking alone late at night through a bad part of town with a pocket full of $20 bills, ActiveX is dropping your trousers in the middle of the yard of a maximum-security prison, bending over, and yelling 'Come and get it, boys!' -- "Please have your Internet License and Usenet Registration handy..." --- Sky-diving: Good 'til the last drop. -- Is there a suspect in your family? - Contact the Ministry of Information. -- D: is just a data disk. That's why it's called "D", for "DATA". C: is the Windows OS disk, so it's called "C", for "CRAP". [David P. Murphy] -- If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. --- "Diplomacy: The art of saying 'Nice doggy' until you can find a stick." - Wynn Catlin -- The sad tale of Fido, the famous explosive-sniffing dog: "Fetch the grenade, Fido! Find it then! Good doggie! Seek!" -- Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain -- Politik kann man in diesem Lande definieren als die Durchsetzung wirtschaftlicher Zwecke mit Hilfe der Gesetzgebung. - Kurt Tucholsky -- sigmentation fault -- Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off. -- No trees were harmed in the sending of this email, though a large number of electrons were severely inconvenienced. -- These twin-CPU hyperthreading computers are really great! We can wait ten to a hundred times faster these days. ---- Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground. -- Behold the warranty... the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away. -- Unix is not an 'A-ha!' experience, it is more of a 'Holy shit!' experience. - Colin McFadyen -- I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. - Mel Brooks -- Windows: Where do you want to go today? MacOS: Where do you want to be tomorrow? Linux: Are you coming or what? -- Discover your inner child ... It's probably freaked out, needs to go pee and wants to know if you're nearly there yet. -- Answers: $1 Correct answers: $5 Dumb looks: Free! -- It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs. ---- First they came for those who wanted more than 120 characters, but I did not speak out, because I did not want more tha ---- Quality control, n.: Assuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand and add to the cost of its manufacture or design. -- vi-Befehle sind sogar relativ einfach zu merken. Wenn man einmal weiß, was dw db de d) d( d} d{ dd d^ d$ d0 dG sowie cw und yw machen, dann weiß man auch, was cb ce c) c( c} c{ cc c^ c$ c0 cG sowie yb ye y) y( y} y{ yy y^ y$ y0 yG machen. [Bernd Bordesser in suse-linux] -- "Romantics might like to think of themselves as being composed of stardust. Cynics might prefer to think of themselves as nuclear waste." -- Simon Singh -- Smoking: Suicide on an installment plan. -- "Yes," said the skull. "Quit while you're a head, that's what I say." -- "If you're not with me, you're my enemy." - Darth Vader "Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." - George W. Bush Vegetarian: Native American name for a lousy hunter. -- Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. -- Stephen Coonts, "The Minotaur" The difference between the USA and England is that the British think 100 miles is a long distance and the Americans think 100 years is a long time. -- I do not get viruses because I do not use MS software. If you use Outlook then please do not put my email address in your address- book so that WHEN you get a virus it won't use my address in the From field. -- Ancient proverb: There are two types of people, those who back up regularly and those who haven't lost data recently. -- When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president. Now I'm beginning to believe it. --Clarence Darrow -- Really, I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect. --Linus Torvalds -- Never fdisk after midnight. A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing in e-mail? -- In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penises, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship. -- I'm sick of following my dreams... I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and catch up later. -- Are you gullible? Call 0900 to find out. -- fast food: haste makes waist -- Drive defensively. Buy a tank. -- Q: Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? A: Because 31 OCT == 25 DEC. -- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. -- Let us have a moment of silence for all Americans who are now stuck in traffic on their way to a health club to ride a stationary bicycle. - Congressman Earl Blumenauer (Oregon) -- A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong. -- unknown -- 186: Admin-Handy Elektronisches Würgehalsband (Holger Köpke) -- Anyone who thinks the government is listening to their phone calls should try calling Inland Revenue for tax help! -- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. -- Life is short - so eat dessert first! -- Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. -- H.L. Mencken -- -- Finster's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. -- Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. -- "Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool." -- Edward Burr -- It's a known fact that one may train cats to do exactly what they want. -- By accepting this brick through your window, you accept it as is and agree to my disclaimer of all warranties, express or implied, as well as disclaimers of all liability, direct, indirect, consequential or incidental, that may arise from the installation of this brick into your building. -- (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened... -- Sure I've got a photographic memory... it just needs developing! -- Intolerant people should be shot. -- There is a saying by aeroplane designers - To fly the plane of the future, you'll only need a pilot and a dog. The pilot's job will be to feed the dog and the dog will be there to bite the pilot if he touches anything. -- DOSen-Hersteller: "Wisst ihr, was wir DOSen-Hersteller an Euch Windows-Usern so toll finden?" Windows-User: "Keine Ahnung." DOSen-Hersteller: "Genau." -- Mögen täten wir schon wollen, doch dürfen haben wir uns nicht getraut. Karl Valentin Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! -- To err is human, but to blame someone else shows management potential. -- Q: What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer? A: A doberman. -- As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. - Dick Cavett -- 11: Swapspace Raubkopierertreffen (Kristian Köhntopp) -- Microsoft gibt uns Windows. Linux das ganze Haus. -- Fighting over religion is like seeing whose imaginary friend is best. -- Besides, why am I justifying this? It's the way it is. I'm sure I'm not alone, and if I am then I can only say Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?! - Matthew Poole "They say everyone needs goals. Mine is to live forever. So far, so good." >>> Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use >>> regular expressions." Now they have two problems. >>> -- attributed to Jamie Zawinski, in comp.lang.emacs >>> >>I disagree with this, as a sometimes-Perl-programmer :) > >You mean the quote should read 'Some people, when confronted with a >problem, think "I know, I'll use Perl." Now they have two problems'. >Right? Right? > The original quote was from an Emacsian. Therefore he has a problem even before he starts looking for one. PROGRAM n. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward. If you want a computer system that works, just get Linux. If you want a computer system that works just, get Microsoft. I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous". And God granted it. - Voltaire -- If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. -- Never argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. -- with kind regards (mit freundlichem Grinsen), -- Maybe death & taxes are inevitable, but death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Joan Welsh -- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. -- Wenn Windows2000 die Antwort sein soll, wie bescheuert muss bloss die Frage gewesen sein!!!! -- Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. -- Treffen Sich zwei Leute im Rechnerraum der CRAY. "He Du, dieser Pfeifton, ist das eine Festplatte?" "Nein, der Stromzähler rotiert!" -- Geburtstage sind wie Bier -- wenn man genug davon gehabt hat, hört man auf, sie zu zählen. -- Sissi Perlinger -- In den letzten Jahren zeichnet in der westlichen Welt niemand, weder die extreme politische Rechte noch die extreme politische Linke, für so viele Einschränkungen von Freiheitsrechten verantwortlich wie die Content-Industrie. - Peter Riedlberger -- I'm too busy to insult you, but your humiliation is important. Please hold. -- "If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in." - Edsger Dijkstra -- Department of Redundancy Department -- Vulgar language is the linguistic crutch of inarticulate brain-dead. -- Widerstand ist zwecklos! Sie werden assembliert...? Absorbiert? Abserviert? Verdammt ... -- It's fascinating how memory diffuses fact. -- Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. -- According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless. -- Human beings are consistently inconsistent. -- If you go through life with your head in the sand, all people will see is an arse. -- It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. -- CAD-CAM? Computer am Dienstag = Chaos am Mittwoch -- Gott hat die Esel geschaffen, damit sie dem Menschen zum Vergleich dienen können. -- Heinrich Heine There's no "I" in team, but there are 4 in "platitude-quoting idiot". -- Inkonsistenz ist, wenn's nicht so läuft, wie man's gesagt hat, daß man's halten würde. Inkontinenz ist, wenn's läuft, obwohl man's lieber halten würde. -- Matthias Kryn -- Disclaimer: By sending an email to any of my addresses you are agreeing that: 1. I am by definition, "the intended recipient" 2. All information in the email is mine to do with as I see fit and make such financial profit, political mileage, or good joke as it lends itself to. 3. I may take the contents as representing the views of your company. 4. This overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that may be included in your message. -- emacs, pr.n. An inferior operating system noted for the lack of a proper editor. -- "Wirklich praxisnah wären Münzen zu EUR 0,99." -- Wolfgang Schwanke in de.etc.sprache.deutsch -- Bill Davidsen Unintended results are the well-earned reward for incompetence. -- "Take my advice; I'm not using it" Groucho Marx -- "Wenn das Wörtchen 'wenn' nicht wär' , wär' die Platte jetzt nicht leer." -- ratti in suse-linux -- Ich bin nämlich ein Windows-Anwender. Genau genommen sollte dies ausreichen, um mich von Fachärzten arbeitsunfähig schreiben zu lassen. [Peter Braun] -- "I picked up a Magic 8-Ball the other day and it said 'Outlook not so good.' I said, 'Sure, but Microsoft still ships it.'" - unk. -- Quote of the login: Bus error -- driver executed. -- "Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months." Clifford Stoll -- Quote of the login: Real computer scientists don't comment their code. The identifiers are so long they can't afford the disk space. -- "The author regrets that he is unable to reconcile himself to the thoughtful point of view you have expressed. However, it must be kept in mind that being raised in different cultures and different places can result in such differences of viewpoint between individuals. The author is from planet Earth." [author unknown] -- Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! -- "[Commercial radio] is owned by one or two corporations now, and they're not in the music business. They're in the advertising business. So let's not kid ourselves. If you want to hear music, go buy a guitar." -- Elvis Costello -- Bumper sticker: All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture. -- My little brother got this fortune: nohup rm -fr /& So he did... -- I was going to compile a list of innovations that could be attributed to Microsoft. Once I realized that Ctrl-Alt-Del was handled in the BIOS, I found that there aren't any. -- The way things were, were the way things were, and they stayed that way because they had always been that way. -- Jon Osborne -- Americans have five disadvantages which you should take into account before giving us too hard a time: - We're landlocked - We're monolingual - We have poor math and geography skills -- Lucas MacBride -- Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. -- If time travel ever will be possible, it already is. Ask me again yesterday. -- This e-mail is not and cannot, by its nature, be confidential. En route from me to you, it will pass across the public Internet, easily readable by any number of system administrators along the way. -- Saying that Win7 is the most stable MS OS is like saying that asparagus is the most articulate vegetable. -- Hehehe: Der LaTeX Benutzer flucht halt auf den ersten zehn Seiten. Der Word-Mensch auf den danach folgenden. -- Karl Wunderle -- Q: What do you call the scratches that you get when a female sheep bites you? A: Ewe nicks. -- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. -- 1 in 10 people understand binary, the other one doesn't Über 80 Millionen Deutsche benutzen keine Konsole. Klick dich nicht weg! -- Eine Initiative des Bundesamtes für Tastaturbenutzung -- ..med vennlig hilsen = with Kind Regards from Arnt Karlsen ...with a number of polar bear hunters in his ancestry... Scenarios always come in sets of three: best case, worst case, and just in case. -- Die Gedanken sind frei. Ausnahmen regelt ein Bundesgesetz. -- There is an old proverb that says just about anything you want it to. ======================================================================== Ian Pilcher ...@xxyy.com -------- "I grew up before Mark Zuckerberg invented friendship" -------- ======================================================================== "There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors." TRISTRAM CHEER Network Architect - Most problems are the result of previous solutions... -- There are two types of people in the world. Those who back up their data, and those who have not lost data recently. -- ___ Patrick Connolly {~._.~} _( Y )_ Good judgment comes from experience (:_~*~_:) Experience comes from bad judgment (_)-(_) -- ----> µ wisdom brought to you by Guy K. Kloss <---- »Wo kämen wir hin, wenn jeder sagen würde | ... guy@kloss.nz ... "wo kämen wir hin?" | Phone: +64-9-550 8499 und keiner ginge los, | Mobile: +64-210 2323 715 um zu sehen, wo wir hinkämen« -- Matthew Poole "The difference between theory and practice is that practice is easier in theory than theory is in practice" -- When you live your life on Twitter and Facebook, and are only friends with like minded people on Twitter and Facebook, you are not living in the real world. You are living in a narcissistic echo chamber. -- "Of course," said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, "There´s no paradox if I shoot you!" -- I find it ironic that at a time when Americans are concerned about violence and bullying in schools and elsewhere that we would elect a Grand Poohbah who's a violent bully and hates everyone, including himself, as demonstrated by speech and action. I've known 2 year olds that behaved more appropriately. Besides, there can be no rule of law when those in charge are contemptuous of the whole framework on which our country is based. -- Wir lieben die Cloud, die verlorenen Daten, der eiskalten Löschung rauhes Gesicht. Wir haben der Daten schon viele verloren, und dennoch schwankt unser Glaube nicht. -- @martinkrafft | https://riot.im/app/#/room/#madduck:madduck.net don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. -- "A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in" - A.S.R. Microsoft is to operating systems .... .... what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking Home page: http://marc.merlins.org/ | PGP 7F55D5F27AAF9D08 -- Es sprach der Fürst zum Herrn Kaplan: "Halt' Du sie dumm, ich halt sie arm!" -- It takes one idiot to make a fool of himself every day he defaces the Oval Office. It takes tens of millions to elevate him there. -- Der Unterschied zwischen Streeck und Drosten ist eigentlich ganz einfach: Der eine hätte gern recht, der andere lieber nicht. -- Schweigegeld für eine Nacht mit Stormy Daniels: 130000 Dollar. Eine sinnlose Nachzählung in Wisconsin: 3 Millionen Dollar. Trumps Absturz live mitzuerleben: Unbezahlbar. -- I read a book on minimalism this week. It had limited appeal. -- Und Gott sprach: "Ich gebe euch Intelligenz." Impfverweigerer: "Nehme ich nicht. Wer weiß, was das für Langzeitfolgen hat." -- And God spoke: "I give you intelligence." Antivaxxer: "No thanks. I just can't know the long-term effects of that." -- Heute ist der Tag des Mitdenkens. Schade, dass ihn so wenige feiern können. -- Ich stehe mit beiden Beinen fest auf dem Schlauch. -- Natürlich spreche ich mit mir selbst. Manchmal brauche ich eben kompetente Beratung. -- Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need competent advice. -- Per SMS Schluss zu machen ist billig, per WhatsApp kostenlos. -- Und ich höre lieber auf Wissenschaftler, die sich mal irren, als auf Irre, die meinen, sie seien Wissenschaftler. -- There are two types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data -- Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit. -- I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now. -- Involuntary autocorrect in operation on mobile device. Apologies in advance. -- So many people complaining about yogurt these days....it's becoming a culture. -- Common sense is not as common as you think. -- Real men don't use AntiVirus; they just reformat -- Man is the lowest-cost, 150-pound, nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. -NASA in 1965 -- Grüße | Greetings | Salut | Qapla? Man muß immer mit Leuten rechnen, auf die man nicht zählen kann. -- Every single person who confuses correlation and causation ends up dying.