From my friend, an ACT-voting accountant


The NZ dollar has continued its slide against the US Dollar and the
Pound Sterling. The dollar reached historic lows mid-week, dropping
below 46 NZ cents to the greenback. A NZ dollar now buys one gram of
hamster droppings and half a glass of Thames river water in the United
Kingdom.

Since the beginning of last week, many currency transactions bureaus in
France and Germany have been turning away NZ backpackers who have
wheelbarrows full of their useless home currency, desperate to change
it before its value declines even further.

The drop in the dollar has also had a dramatic impact for NZ tourists,
making the cost of travel prohibitively expensive and making many
people cancel their travel plans. In an early response to the
situation, American Express has modified its advertising campaign,
shortening its slogan specifically for the NZ market. It now simply
reads "Don't leave home".

But the new rates have made NZ an increasingly attractive destination
for tourists from the UK and US. Speaking from her palatial suite at a
harbourside hotel in Auckland, Shayla Mohr, a single mother from Idaho
on welfare, agreed that the beneficial exchange rates played a major
part in her decision to travel to NZ. "My food stamps don't go very far
at all back home" said Ms Mohr, "So I decided to cash them in a have a
trip to NZ. My last dole cheque has funded three weeks here and I've
been having a ball. You guys have such cute little money".

Despite the decline against the major currencies, the NZ dollar did
rally against some minor currencies in late trading on Friday. The
dollar posted gains against the dong, the rouble and the rupee before
markets closed.

The dollar also made some late gains against Monopoly Money. One NZ
dollar now buys 36 Monopoly cents, a rate which has caused difficulties
because there are no cents in Monopoly. But major owners of Monopoly
Money, such as Microsoft's Bill Gates, have refused to trade their cash
for NZ currency, dismissing the dollar as "pretend money".

In a statement from the beehive, finance minister Michael Cullen stated
that NZers have never had it so good. "Why would anyone want to holiday
overseas anyway. NZ is a great place to be, especially at this time of
the year. Those people contemplating an overseas trip in future will be
subject to The Holiday, Enjoyment and Fun Tax (THEFT). This new
deduction will be targeted at anyone who looks like they might have any
disposable income that might be spent on anything pleasurable."
Supporters of the new tax within the coalition government have
applauded Mr Cullen's initiative as innovative but not far reaching
enough. "It's this sort of measure that will entice ex-patriot Kiwis
back to NZ" said Mr Anderton in response to the announcement.