George Bush was thrilled at finally being able to sleep in the White House, but
something very strange happened. One the first night, he was awakened by George
Washington's ghost.

Welcoming the opportunity to communicate with the father of our country, Bush
asked, "President Washington, what is the best thing that I can do for the
nation?".

"Set an honest and honourable example, just like I did," Washington said.

Later that night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appeared in the bedroom and Bush
asked him the same question.

"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," Jefferson said.

Still later, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appeared and Bush asked once again,
"Abe, please tell me, what is the best thing that I can do to help the nation?"

"Go see a play," replied Lincoln.


--~--~--~--


How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a light bulb?
The answer is SEVEN:

(1) One to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced.

(2) One to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who asks questions about
    the light bulb.

(3) One to blame the previous administration for the need for a new light bulb.

(4) One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile
    of light bulbs.

(5) One to get together with Vice President Cheney and award a million-dollar
    no-bid contract to Halliburton Industries for supplying a light bulb.

(6) One to arrange a photo-op session showing Dubya changing the light bulb
    while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag.

(7) And finally, one to explain to Dubya the difference between screwing a light
    bulb and screwing the country.