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\part{The Poo List}

\section{Ghost Poo}
You know you have pooed. There is poo on the toilet paper but not in
the toilet.

\section{Teflon Coated Poo}
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you do not even feel it. No
trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be
sure you did it.

\section{Gooey Poo}
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 times and you still do
not come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underware so
you do not stain it. The poo leaves permanent marks in the toilet.

\section{Second Thought Poo}
You are all done wiping and you are about to stand up when you realise
it\ldots\ you have got some more.

\section{Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo}
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It does not want to come out
until you are all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

\section{Weight Watchers Poo}
You poo so much you loose several kilograms.

\section{The Right Now Poo}
%You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet you burn your rubber
%getting to the toilet. % ???
You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet, and you burn your rubber
getting to it. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants
down.

\section{King Kong or Commodore Choker Poo}
This one is so big that you  know it won't go down the toilet unless
you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This
kind of poo usually happens at someone else's house.

\section{Cork Poo (Also Known as Floaters)}
Even after the third flush it is still floating in the bowl (my God,
how do I get rid of it?).

\section{Wet Cheeks Poo}
The poo hits the water sideways and makes such a big splash that you
get all wet.

\section{Snake Poo}
%This poo is fairly soft and about as thumb at least 3 feet long.
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as a thumb, and at least 3 feet
long.

\section{Beer and Meat Pie Poo}
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell too bad but this one is BAD! Usually this one happens at someone
else's house and there is someone outside waiting to use the bathroom.

\section{Mexican Food Poo (Also Called Screamers)}
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your arse stops burning.

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