% Life-in-reverse.tex
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% life really is the wrong way round...
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% Source: internet
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% Typeset by Volker Kuhlmann, 11 Aug 2006.
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\begin{document}

\begin{center}\large\bfseries
	Life in Reverse
\end{center}

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.\\
What do you get in the end of it?\\
A death.

What's that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

\begin{enumerate}

\item
	You should die first.\\
	You know, start out dead,\\
	Get it out of the way.\\
	You wake up in a an old age home,\\
	Feeling better every day.

\item
	You get kicked out for being too healthy,\\
	Go collect your pension,\\
	Then, when you start work,\\
	You get a gold watch on your first day.

\item
	You work 40 years until you're young enough\\
	To enjoy your retirement\\
	You drink alcohol,\\
	You party,\\
	You're generally promiscuous\\
	(hey, you've only got a few years left,\\
	what's the big deal?)\\
	And you get ready for High School.

\item
	Then you go to primary school,\\
	You become a kid,\\
	You get toys, You play,\\
	You have no responsibilities,\\
	And, finally,\\
	You become a baby.

\item
	The last step,\\
	You spend your last 9 months\\
	Floating peacefully\\
	With luxuries like\\
	Central heating,\\
	Spa,\\
	Room service on tap,\\
	Larger quarters everyday,\\
	And then\ldots

\item
	You finish off as an orgasm.

\end{enumerate}

\end{document}

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