% Chicken-Cross-Road.tex
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%	Kamal Sabbagh (the "net"?)
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\begin{document}

Famous New Zealanders answer the age old question

\begin{center}
\Large\bfseries
	Why did the chicken cross the road?
\end{center}

\begin{description}
\item[Tuku Morgan]
	The chicken's m\=an\=a entitles it to cross the road whenever
	and wherever it wants. The chicken is not required to provide a
	reason for its actions. It's time the rednecks stopped
	chicken-bashing.
\item[Winston Peters]
	The people of Tauranga will not continue to sit idly by and let
	the media make unsubstantiated accusations about the chicken.
	Let me tell you that this matter will be fully tested in court
	and the people will have their say!
\item[Sam Hunt]
	So the chicken / crossed the road / and also rode / the cross. /
	Our nation's boss / the Southern Cross / now bears his / PALTRY
	load.
\item[Paul Holmes]
	And so. This chicken. It could be any chicken. Indeed. A
	chicken of the people. So to speak. Crossed the road. Or so we
	all thought. It now seems that the whole story. May have been
	invented. To boost. Interest in a new book. Published.
	Published I might add. Yes I might. Indeed published. By the
	very same chook. Tonight on Holmes. We investigate. The chook
	book crook.
\item[Rachel Hunter]
	It's sad when you feel like you have to cross the road because
	the rooster is always after younger chicks.
\item[Sean Fitzpatrick]
	Full credit to the chicken. It was a road of two halves and
	rugby was the winner on the day.
\item[Temuera Morrison]
	So it wouldn't be in Guatemala any more.
\item[Suzanne Paul]
	\sloppy
	Howmuchwouldyouexpecttopay? Notonlydoyougetthechickenwithwings%
	butalso\newline
	theroadandifyouareoneofthefirst50callersI'llthrowinthis%
	fabulousnaturalglowingcrossingwhich\newline
	thousandsoflumionousbluemonkeyshavepaidhundredsforit'syoursfree%
	PriceexcludesGST,post\-agepackagingandspecialconditionsapply.
\item[Alan Duff]
	This sort of stupid f\#@king
	%$<$mailto:f\#@king $<$mailto:f\#@king$>$$>$
	question really pisses me off.
\item[Renee Chignall]
	I made the chicken do it but it wanted to be forced.
\item[Matthew Ridge]
	It's ridiculous mate. If it had been me crossing the road I
	would have been sent off. And yet they let this chook just
	wander around. I mean mate, the ref's just soft on Ozzie
	chooks, waddaya reckon?
\item[Graham Hughes]
	SENNNNNNSATIONAL first half from the chook but can it maintain
	this kind of pressure for the full 80 minutes?
\item[Bert Potter]
	The chicken was old enough to understand the implications of
	its actions.
\item[Jenny Shipley]
	I can assure you that there is no truth to the suggestion that
	I recently had the chicken around for dinner.
\item[Helen Clark]
	This is exactly the type of situation the Labour party
	predicted when police numbers were slashed. It is only a matter
	of time before this or any other chicken is seriously hurt and
	I trust that the prime minister can sleep at night knowing that
	her actions have been a direct cause.
\item[Lana Cockroft]
	Sorry what was the question?
\end{description}

\end{document}

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